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Clinton
Despite being in front of a computer ALL DAY, I knew I'd be greatly rewarded when I came home and logged back on to teh Internets. And I saw what the fellas at Us Versus Them had to say. And it was good. We've seen the original Sarah Silverman fucking Matt Damon. Then Jimmy Kimmel Fucking Ben Affleck. Then some actress fucking Seth Rogan. And now, of course we have a campaign bang between Obama and Hillary.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5jyTc6rnbI]
In response to Mario Cuomo's suggestion that Obama and Clinton share the ticket, Hillary responds:
"Discussions like this are premature because this is an historic campaign, and Democrats are more energized than ever, and there are millions of voices yet to be heard...Unlike the Obama campaign, we think everyone's vote should count, and we shouldn't end the race until [everyone] has had a chance to vote."
Yea, you know because Barack Obama is going around disenfranchising voters. Note extreme level of sarcasm. I hope that was her idea of a funny April Fool's joke.
A conservative group -– Citizens United -– that has produced a film now in distribution attacking Hillary Clinton called “Hillary, the Movie,” has its sights set on a new target: Barack Obama. The group has budgeted about $1 million to produce a documentary film about Mr. Obama that is set to be distributed this summer. At the moment, Citizens United has its researchers poring over Mr. Obama’s records as a community organizer, state legislator and United States senator in the same way that it scoured Mrs. Clinton’s record with a highly critical eye and a sharply conservative point of view.
I hope the mainstream media doesn't jump into the water and legitimize this sure to be swiftboat hack job.
Watch this short explanation provided by this woman behind her decision to switch her support to Barack Obama from Hillary Clinton. Yet another switch. [youtube=http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=OVuMYKs8iJs]
These phrases need to be banned from the political vernacular, and any politician heard uttering any of them will automatically forfeit their race and go into immediate time out in Sitka, Alaska. 1. Flip flop. *Unless used in the context of open toe sandals perfect in the warm tropical breeze of the Caymans.
Exhibit A.
2. [Insert scandal]+suffix "gate." Any derivative of the word Watergate to describe scandals, from sports to politics to what Betty did at the nail salon should be banned. It diminishes the enormity of the actual Watergate scandal. Usage of gate to describe a hinged barrier or door is acceptable however.
Exhibit B.
3. Although, not a phrase, I want to see a ban on the "Clinton thumb" during speeches and debates. Let me explain, although I'm sure Monica Lewinsky has a different understanding of the Clinton thumb than you or I (WOW. What does that even mean??): You know, the one with the thumb placed over the closed fist that politicians like to use to make a point or underscore something. According to the politicians' focus groups, pointing the finger is inflammatory and accusatory, while waving an open hand around is too Hitler, which isn't the best association. It conveys trust and firmness. I think it conveys robotic and contrived assholeness. Hey politicians: JFK looked sincere and good doing it. You on the other hand look retahded.
Exhibit A. Your honor, I'd also like to submit this as evidence of John Edwards' douchebaggery. I kid, Johnny. I like you okay. You're just no Obama. I can't quit him.
Citizens, any more phrases, words, or behavior you'd like to add to this list?
