BECKHAM TRIES TO BEND HIS EYES AROUND LAKERS CHEERLEADERS

Recently soccer star David Beckham was snapped by a photographer looking uhm, obliquely at a cheerleader at a Lakers game (see photo above). The problem is that when you're a huge international star you can't ever escape the camera lens.  This is exactly why Jack Nicholson wears sunglasses wherever he goes.

Well, after this incident when Beckham attended another Lakers game--this time with his wife Posh Bot (I can just picture the conversation: It's okay baby, I thought you were going to go shopping, 'sides the game's kinda for a fella's night out. No, I WANT you to come.  I just know you get bored at these things.) he did all he could to avoid ogling the cheerleaders.

Haha.

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FRIDAY PARTY FYI

If anyone swings by Union Square on Friday night please snap a few photos for me of this silent rave taking place there.  Thanks!

I'm assuming it'll be people acting out what will appear to be an old iPod commercial...on mute.

THE BEST JOB IN THE ENTIRE WORLD

What's better than being John Mayer or Kanye West? How about the guy who gets to oil supermodel Gisele Bundchen's ass while she's wearing ass-less daisy duke shorts (Whoever thought of that should receive a MacArthur genius grant)? I think that's a pretty sweet gig.

Tom Brady sure won the lottery of life.

FATHER'S WISH FOR STRIPPER AT HIS FUNERAL FULFILLED

An old Taiwanese man was promised a stripper at his funeral if he lived to be at least 100 years old.  Sadly, he passed away at the age of 103 (dying en route to the voting booth), but not for naught as the stripper promise that all boys wish for was granted.

His son, Cai Ruigong, told the newspaper that he had paid more than $170 for the stripper to dance around the coffin at the funeral.

"He would travel around the island with his friends to see these [strip] shows," Ruigong said.

According to reports, the exotic dancer performance at the funeral lasted 10 minutes.

BE ON A TIMES SQUARE BILLBOARD. YES, YOU. WELL, AN ANIMATED YOU.

Follow these easy steps and make like a CK underwear model. 1. Be in Manhattan.

2. Go to Chashama art gallery at 217 E. 42nd Street.

3. Go inside photobooth.

4. Push button inside photobooth.  Do CRAZYINSANEMODELY things immediately as the photobooth will take 30 pictures immediately.

5. You now have less than 15 minutes to walk to the Conde Nast building at 4 Times Square (Broadway between 42nd and 43rd).

6. Approximately 15 minutes after your "photo shoot," an animation from the 30 photos of you will be displayed for all the immobile Times Square tourists to gaze upon and ponder "how did this ugly mofo ever become a model?"  Whatever you do, do NOT use this occasion to write "Be my wifey?" on a piece of paper to propose to your girlfriend.

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