METROCARDS AND CONDOMS AND ROBITUSSIN

I've never been more ill in one winter than this year.  I have a few theories that could explain this (Memo to self: Stop making out with skanks.  I kid, I kid.), but I am solidly sure about one thing and that is this: I'm really ready for winter to be over and done with. Anyway, back to what you are here for, which is links to things that will amuse, entertain, and occasionally educate you while avoiding your work duties.  And I have a link ("plug" for a friend) that will hopefully provide all three.

One of the most erudite friend of mine has caught the blogging bug and has started maintaing an entertaining blog (metrocardsandcondoms.wordpress.com) that presents his grand unifying theories and penetrating analysis on dating, sex, and relationships, along with an occasional insight into his neuroses.  The writer intends for it to be a roundtable discussion, if you will, with each entry providing the proverbial launch pad or diving board.

Cheers.

I'M SO SICK OF THE NON-APOLOGY APOLOGY

I'm so sick of the non-apology apology from people in the public limelight after they utter something racist, sexist, or hateful.  Their "apology," which is never a straightforward acknowledgment that they said something ignorant and malicious, is always cast so as to implicitly blame the victimized individual or group: See Rosie's "mea culpa" after her whole "ching chong" incident. Here's the most recent example after a Boston Celtics radio announcer Cedric Maxwell remarked, during a game, referencing the female referee on the court:

"Go in there and make me some bacon and eggs, would you?"

Clearly, such unquestionably sexist remarks shouldn't be uttered on air (I say it all the time to chicks though in private, but I also throw in,  "and clean the house afterwards" for good measure and then I slap on them on their ass as they walk by) and if it happens, just say you're sorry.  But nope, this genius goes with this non-apology apology:

“If I said anything that might have been insensitive or sexist in any way, then I apologize because she worked extremely hard to get where she is now, end of quote.”

Um, "IF?"  "MIGHT HAVE BEEN?"  "OR?"  "CAPS?"  "CAPS AND QUESTION MARKS?"

Try: "I said something that was incredibly insensitive and sexist and I apologize because she worked extremely hard to get where she is now.  I have begun reading the Feminine Mystique."

I didn't listen to the game, so I don't know whether he said made the bacon and eggs comment as a joke or whether there was a real male chauvinist anger there, but if it was an attempt at humor, he should know better.  If I know what I say is going to be broadcast to tens of thousands of people, I'm not going to be making jokes about how fast my people can deliver food on one-speed bicycles (They ARE fast though).

Anyway, I guess there's a good reason why Cedric Maxwell is only on radio.  OOOH BURNNNN.

In the meantime, GO RED SOX!

MARRIAGE WORD OF ADVICE

Don't let your baby daddy just walk out on you.  MARRY YOUR BABY DADDY advises this book that this woman was reading on the subway:

Okay, it's not an advice book (as I learned thanks to Amazon--not the river or the mythical race of gargantuan, yet beautiful, female warriors who trained Wonder Woman--but the massive book and everything else commerce-site), but that title is damn FIERCE.

The premise of the book is this: three sisters, all with child out of wedlock, who must marry their baby daddies in order to inherit 3 million dollars that is left to them in their grandmother's will.

EBAY BENEFIT FOR JAMES KIM'S SURVIVING FAMILY

If you were following the news, a couple weeks ago, CNET senior editor James Kim died while attempting to find help for his family who were trapped in a car in the freezing weather.   Sometimes the good guy doesn't make it in the end and it just really fucking sucks. It really fucking sucks.

There's an EBay auction now being held with various arts and crafts items to benefit his surviving family with 100 percent of the proceeds going to the James Kim Memorial Fund.

Here are a couple items that I might bid on.  Go check it out (link above).

Porcelain take out plates!