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Humor

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A TALE OF SPURNED LOVE VIA A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MENU

From the latest New Yorker: This list of fourteen appetizers, written passive aggressively, provides an account of a dinner party, whose guests included the host's ex-girlfriend and her new man, gone horribly wrong. An excerpt:

5. Tell Marissa that you appreciate her concern, but in the two years since Cheryl broke off the engagement you’ve grown up a lot, and you’re really in a much healthier place now. Then say, “Speaking of fiancés, how’s Peter’s alcoholism?” (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)

6. For a taste of the U.K., fry up mini-servings of fish-and-chips. Take it to the next level by wrapping them in small pieces of newspaper, which, oddly enough, all seem to be printed with unfavorable reviews of Jeff ’s novel.

Genius.

Read rest here.

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LITERAL JOKES

McSweeney's has some good literal jokes of all categories, from knock-knocks to ethnic to religious jokes none of which offends!

KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE #8 Knock, Knock! Who's there? John. John who? John Wilson, your old friend from college. What a pleasant surprise. Please, come in.

POLISH JOKE #9 How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to hold the ladder, and the other to turn the light bulb in a clockwise fashion until it is secured in the socket.

BLONDE JOKE #116 How do you brainwash a blonde? A rigorous schedule of psychologically breaking down their confidence and resistance to outside suggestion.

Read more here.

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MOTIVATIONAL TRUTH SPOOFS

Sure most of these are sophomoric, but don't act like you haven't laughed at a knock-knock or scatologic joke lately. This image should really literally be in every dictionary next to the word 'fear.'

It's like he's one of those Russian nesting dolls.

And my favorite:

It's true.  Sneaky, sneaky alcoholic ninjas.

More here.

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NEW LINK

I'm too busy to blog the past couple days but I know some of you readers are greedy bastards and want an update every hour, so all I can say is go check out this link: http://usversusthem.wordpress.com. Its got good entertainacrastination material on it. They're my latest addition to my blogroll. (Thanks Robb!)

And for some hilarious photos from a recent party he had, check out my friend Clay's latest entry here.

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