The Teenager Audio Test

There is a very annoying tone similar to a buzzing mosquito that can generally only be heard by people under the age of 25. It's sometimes played in malls and shops as a repellent against loitering teenagers. Ya' know, those hooligans. Of course in the ever escalating battle between kids and authority figures ("The Man"), some students adopted that same sound as a ring tone or alert for their cell phone that teachers ("Old Fogies")  can't hear.

Try the "Teenager Audio Test" to check whether you can hear the sound.

I could. You?

[Via]

BOMOMO: SPIRO DRAWING FUN

Bomomo, a spiro-inspired drawing program is a fun diversion that I don't recommend for people with control issues. The various drawing and brush tools move in various patterns that may not exactly conform to what you want it to do but the result is always very cool looking. Here's my creation inspired by my closest friend and worst enemy, the New York City subway system:

NEW LINK

I'm too busy to blog the past couple days but I know some of you readers are greedy bastards and want an update every hour, so all I can say is go check out this link: http://usversusthem.wordpress.com. Its got good entertainacrastination material on it. They're my latest addition to my blogroll. (Thanks Robb!)

And for some hilarious photos from a recent party he had, check out my friend Clay's latest entry here.

UNLEASH PANDORA'S BOX OF MUSIC

Started in January 2000 (around the same time I was trying to figure out whether Natty Light or Natty Ice was better in the second semester of my sophomore year of college) a Stanford graduate launched the Music Genome Project that would attempt to quantify the "genes" of songs and music genres by incorporating factors ranging from "gender of lead vocalist, level of distortion on the electric guitar, [to] type of background vocals." This methodology was adopted by another website called Pandora which utilizes the Music Genome Project's data to create an Internet radio station that dynamically interacts with your musical preferences to automatically create an ongoing playlist that plays songs that it thinks you'll enjoy based on your preferences.  You are given the option of giving each song a thumbs up or down which helps the site hone in on what you like.

It's a really terrific service that uncovers a lot of music in a genre you might not know that much about.  For example, I typed in "Esbjorn Svensson Trio" and as a result I've been listening to some really terrific jazz tonight.  I suggest you do the same.

(Thanks Nicole!)

RACIAL ELEVATOR

How was I suppose to know you can't call somebody an Oriental?

NINJA MASK

Make a ninja mask with just any ol' t-shirt (although I would recomment a black t-shirt for proper ninja effect--a tie dye mask would look a bit odd).

Update: I wrote a lengthy diatribe on my soapbox here awhile back on the false appropriation of nerdom--a kingdom that I've been a loyal subject for as long as I remember--by those who've never actually been a nerd.

Only a true nerd would 1) surf the appropriate websites that unearth gems like the ninja link above, and 2) feel compelled to actually see if it works.  The result?  100 percent success...100 percent success that these photos will eventually come back to haunt me in the future.  It's alright.  How many people when they eventually meet their end can say "Yea, I lived life: I once turned a t-shirt into a ninja mask?"

I'm surprised the camera could even capture me, er this ninja in this photo because...ninjas are super fast, secretive and also, generally avoid the flash of a camera.

Less well known are the hipster ninjas.

ULTIMATE SOLO GOALIE TRAINING

Hilarious. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMikQAhrN-w]

25 SADDEST SONGS

Spinner created an intriguing top 25 list of songs--a list titled "The 25 Most Exquisite Sad Songs in the Whole World." Any list that ranks works of art are obviously completely subjective and ultimately infinitely debatable.  Yet, they are always compelling.  Maybe it's that very subjective quality which explains the appeal because it permits the reader to be an active participant. "Actually number 5 should be number 3 and number 1...well, whoever picked that is a fucking idiot. "

TALKING HEADS? MORE LIKE SCREAMING HEADS

We already know that Bill O'Reilly is a blustering, xenophobic douchebag whose allegiance to hate and bigotry is only second to his TV ratings and rubbing women with loofas. And while he explicitly explicates the "modus operandi" of Carribbean vacations, we know that his modus operandi on his show is to invite a "guest" and then cuts them off while yelling at them and calling them enemies of the State. As much as I dislike Geraldo and as much as I dislike listening to two 'pundits' screaming at one another, it's still good to see someone stand their ground against a bully on his own turf, even if it is another bully such as Geraldo.

My ears are still kind of bleeding from listening to these two, and I'm sure yours is as well, so I'm going to let the sweet, sweet voice of Jon Bon Jovi and the aural medicine that is "I'll Be There" sooth you:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtzcOqv_P-4]

(Thanks Chloe!)

PEYTON MANNING DOES SNL

It's an obvious skit from SNL--hosted by Colts quarterback and (this pains me to say it) Super Bowl champ Peyton Manning--but this is still a pretty hilarious spoof of those NFL and United Way commercials: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-6Ky7_sfPc]

TRY WATCHING THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING

(Via) [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X1VIyZe3Ws]

Obviously, you need to watch this clip with the sound on, and once you do, you'll see that laughter is addictive, especially when the giggling, then laughter, and then finally guffaws originate in a wholly inappropriate setting.

YOUR TODAY'S MUST-READ STORY

(Via) I don't even really know how to recap this investigative piece about mysterious letters anonymously sent to various random students at Grinnell College.  The writer, herself (himself?) a recipient of one of these letters decides--almost obsessively--to track down the author of these creepy notes.  Although I don't have the energy or time to research its veracity, it does make for a super fascinating read.  I can see it being expanded into a novel or even a film.

As early as 1992, students at Grinnell College, a small liberal arts school in Iowa, began receiving strange, anonymous letters in the mail. The letters contained homemade greeting cards with crudely drawn pictures—men crawling on the ground, toilets and trash cans, twin closet doors—and jokes that didn’t make any sense. Q: What would a duclod like about the land of the giants? A: Standing in two closets without touching either knob.

In one mysterious letter the sender defined the made-up word duclod as the fusion of two words, dual and closeted, meaning a person who hides his or her sexuality from both gay and straight people. Another letter described the duclod as “bisexual, homophobic, heterophobic, confused.”

The letters were always sent in groups, from four to seven cards reported at a time. They were always postmarked from different, seemingly random parts of the country and always sent during school breaks. Mostly, the letters targeted gay and bisexual seniors. Sometimes they were sent to the student’s school address; sometimes home, possibly in an effort to out the student to his or her parents.

That’s all anyone knew for 14 years.

It's all very creepy stuff.  To read it...click here.

A PUFFY TRENCHCOAT DOES NOT EQUAL PARACHUTE

If working extremely late in an empty office on a very tedious project, do not listen to bleak and somber music because such a combination will make you want to follow Franz Reichelt's plummeting footsteps. Who is Franz Ferdinand Reichelt? Or rather, who was Franz Reichelt?

Franz belongs to that rara avis of brotherhoods in human history, who like Icarus dare to fly as high into the heavens as possible--not metaphorically, poetically or symbolically--but actually, literally. These men don't just dream. They act and do with a temerity you and I dream of, yet fear. Unlike men like Icarus, Charles Elwood "Chuck" Yeager, and R. Kelly, who were obsessed with believing they can fly, touching the sky, and thinking about it every night and day, Franz on the other hand, was preoccupied with teasing gravity and floating gently down from the sky (or from the top of the Eiffel Tower...) like the very first snowflake of a winter.

Ignoring the naysayers and their vociferous doubts, with their heads looking forward and up (into the future?), these demi-gods strap on their proverbial wings or in Franz's case, looking forward and down to walk the proverbial plank.

On February 4, 1912, Franz climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower and looked calmly out into the cool Paris cityscape. He wore an overcoat, but it was no ordinary overcoat. It also doubled as a parachute. Ingenuity! Passion! Art! Function! Fashion!

Did he test this jacket on a dummy to ensure that it worked properly as you or I would have done? No. When you want to climb Mt. Olympus to look Zeus in the eye, you don't send a sherpa up there first.

And so we go back to Franz, the humble tailor with a big dream, standing atop the world. Just him and his parachute-overcoat. A paracoat, if you will.

And then?

Over he went.

Icarus flew too close to the sun and plunged back to where the meek and mortals dwell. Chuck Yeager found that his ceiling was the sky and the great black space beyond was forever closed to him. R Kelly pissed on underage girls.

Moral of this story: Kids, keep those dreams of grandeur locked up as just that, dreams. Martin Luther King had a dream and look what happened to him. Wow, that was terrible. I can't believe I just wrote that (although will that dream ever come true?).

Actually, the moral of the story is this: Kids, dream and follow those dreams. Just don't follow a crazy man with a parachute-jacket over the edge. Let him test it out while you take the stairs down. Yea, that's the message of this entry: Kids, take the stairs...and avoid R. Kelly. Always.

ANOTHER M&C PLUG

Who knew the word "terrorism" can actually have a milk-coming-out-of-nose  "LOL" effect? The specific sentence?

How do [girlst] convince a guy that he wants to breakup with them when he’s actually perfectly happy: terrorism.

Click link above for more context.

SONG HAS BEEN DELETED

I'm not too inspired tonight to write anything, but I do have a question for all ya'll.  I noticed recently that the song on my MySpace profile was removed by Wilco.  I'm in need of a new song to put up on there.  So, any suggestions?

GNARLS THINKS BRITNEY IS CRAZY: MASHUP

Here's an amusing mash up between Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" and Britney Spears's "I'm a Slave for U" that's apropos considering Brit's current mental condition. Here's the link to download. (Thanks Monica.)

METROCARDS AND CONDOMS AND ROBITUSSIN

I've never been more ill in one winter than this year.  I have a few theories that could explain this (Memo to self: Stop making out with skanks.  I kid, I kid.), but I am solidly sure about one thing and that is this: I'm really ready for winter to be over and done with. Anyway, back to what you are here for, which is links to things that will amuse, entertain, and occasionally educate you while avoiding your work duties.  And I have a link ("plug" for a friend) that will hopefully provide all three.

One of the most erudite friend of mine has caught the blogging bug and has started maintaing an entertaining blog (metrocardsandcondoms.wordpress.com) that presents his grand unifying theories and penetrating analysis on dating, sex, and relationships, along with an occasional insight into his neuroses.  The writer intends for it to be a roundtable discussion, if you will, with each entry providing the proverbial launch pad or diving board.

Cheers.

STAR WARS SQUARE

This guy is totally right: the Union Square subway stop is just like the first stage of the Death Star level in that old school Star Wars video game.  Now everytime I walk through that subway station, my dorky mind is going to be even dorkier.

IN THE SUBWAY TONIGHT

I've seen some pretty decent to the pretty god awful subway musical performances during my time in New York, but the best I've ever seen, again, can only be described as "pretty decent."  Honestly, the most impressive thing I saw on a subway was this busker doing a tonally perfect mimicry of  the subway train "door closing" sound.   I've certainly never seen anything quite like the performance given by this R&B acapella group, Naturally 7, on the Paris Metro. This group sang their own mixed up (but in a good way) version of Phil Collins's "In the Air Tonight."  It's quite stun-tastic.  Check it out here.  It's funny to note the passengers slowly warming up to them and to see their reactions.

YESSS...ANOTHER 24 WITH BOBBY LEE

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z6IFUOW5Lw] This is the only MadTV skit that consistently cracks me up.  My favorite line: "You know you like me, inside you want ethnic love...!"