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Amber Fossils From the Future

"Relics" by the Glue Society:

Commissioned to create an installation for the Pulse Contemporary Art Show in Miami last week, the Glue Society developed a series of amber fossils as an indication of what could be uncovered millions of years from now. Value is added to the disposable bits and bobs that are evidence of our odd existence to highlight the dangerous fact that what will be remembered might not be the most important.

This reminds me of an illustrated book I used to read as a child. I forgot the name but it imagines an archaeology dig hundreds of years in the future at a site of some US city (I think New York?) and of course they get everything all wrong. The TV is a place of worship. Toilet seat is a ceremonial headgear worn around the neck. Does this book sound familiar to anyone?

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The Last Week with Andy Warhol

Advertising Agency: Storåkers McCann, Stockholm, Sweden Art Director: Jonas Frank Copywriter: Hanna Belander Account Director: Michael Storåkers Account Manager: Anna Wallin Assistent: Simon Sved

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Books that Breath

[vimeo 2376275]These amazing breathing books that look like some prop from the Harry Potter movies were created by Edith Kollath.

Subplot to this exhibit is how her books were detained by the TSA at Newark airport when she tried to return to Germany with them for another exhibit. The books were held for three months.

Read the artist's recount of the whole experience with our security apparatus here.

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Photography is for Jerkoffs

I'm in Delaware for this Thanksgiving weekend. Its been nice visit among great food and friends. And of course there are cameras galore here, which reminds me of this epic and totally offensive rant:

HERE'S how to be a photographer: If you follow these steps, you CANNOT fail at getting an art show at a shitty gallery in the city somewhere, and unless you have terrible breath you WILL get laid. If you can’t follow these steps, you will be a BAD PHOTOGRAPHER which is like being bad at using a microwave oven and you should then literally go play penuckle with my grandfather at The Home. You will be in great company, as he too is a BAD MICROWAVER.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1) Make sure you have a LOT OF FUCKING NATURAL LIGHT.

2) Make sure the natural light SOURCE is behind you

3) Make sure the flash on your camera is OFF. If you need a FLASH, it means you don’t have enough NATURAL LIGHT. (step 1)

4) Look through the viewfinder: Make sure that everything in your shot is symmetrical. If a tiny bit of it isn’t, like a bird or a queer walking down the street, that’s OK because it makes the photo “cool.” Go watch every Stanley Kubrick movie ever made if you don’t understand this. (Study Alex’s fake eyelash as the archetypal stylistic symmetry violator)

5) Take pictures of everyday shit from stupid angles but make sure it’s all SYMMETRICAL and that it isn’t MOVING.

6) Make sure YOU don’t move or have your fat black fingers in front of the lens when you push the button. (priceless tip: push the button down halfway, wait for a clicky sound, and then push it all the way in - this is the BIG photography secret that professionals don’t want you to know.)

7) Take TONS of photos of the same thing and then only use the good ones where the bird or the queer wasn’t blinking.

You’re done. You’re a fucking photographer. See how easy that is? That’s because it’s for JERKOFFS. 

Read more here.

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