Here's video evidence of what a jerk Michael Phelps is after the end of his race. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhjwnsVUeto]
Hahaha. Well done.
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Comedy
Although the topic is a little dated by a few days, from across the pond, I like the Guardian political satire blog's introduction to their horse-picking analysis of the various candidates up for the role of vice president.
Who has the experience? Who's pretty – but not so pretty they kind of look like a slut? Whose name will fit comfortably on a bumper sticker in a garish red-white-and-blue font?
And their opinion on why McCain may choose Mitt Romney, which is because Mitt:
...sweats liquid money
It's kind of true.
Read more here.
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Ice cream is apparently an igneous rock. The science of it frankly bores me. This entry is just an excuse to share again my all time favorite Eddie Murphy joke, which happens to involve ice cream, and it is this skit that was running through my head when I ran like Usain Bolt after the Mr. Smoothie truck a few weeks ago.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JfMCBh1sJQ]
You know the shit is hysterically genius when the dude telling the joke is wearing a full red leather jump suit and that isn't what's funny.
I'm not surprised Aziz is tight with Obama. Anyways, he was good enough to share his text back-and-forth with Obama.
My Text Back and Forth with Obama at 3AM Last Night... Barack: I’ve chosen Senator Joe Biden to be our VP nominee. Watch the first Obama-Biden rally live at 3pm ET on www.BarackObama.com. Spread the world!
Aziz: Hey man, that’s great. I’m actually asleep, I’ll catch ya tomorrow.
Barack: No man, we gotta party! Come out!
Aziz: That’s all good, I’ll party up tomorrow.
Barack: Quit being a bitch, come out!!!!
Aziz: I’m good man.
Barack: BIden said you are a pussy.
Aziz: I’m pretty beat man, tell Joe congrats.
Barack: Come on playerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Shawties got dem apple botttom jeaannns, and da booots wit da furrrrrrrrrs….
(After 4 minutes of no response)
Biden: WAKE
Biden: YO
Biden: ASS
Biden: UPPPPPPPPPPPP
Biden: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Aziz: Fuck! Okay! Where you guys at?
Barack: Shit. Bar closed up. We heading to get food now. Brunch/Death Race tomorrow?
Aziz: Sure.
Hahaha, brilliant. They say that politics makes for strange bedfellows, so why not Obama and Aziz?
Hm, Obama and Aziz?
Obama-Aziz 2008.
That ticket right there would have been enough to have the ol' white folk of rural Pennsylvania and such run straight into the open and waiting old, wrinkly arms of John McCain.
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This is a pretty funny short video featuring a lot of characters whose names you may not remember but you recognize. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3TN9urUuDc]
[Thanks Moye]
See what they are doing here in this video? They're are playing on the pun of "B." It's kind of terrible, but then again I am posting it here because I figure it is in someway blogworthy. Anyway, (surprise!) it's a "viral" effort for some save the bees campaign. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m5vt07W2n4]
RELATEDLY
My comedy writer friend Dan Mintz's own take on bees and flowers:
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=w67hexbu8eI]
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I don't know how I missed this, but Drew sent it to me and although it's kind of long (that's what she said), this segment of Triumph the Insult Dog at a Bon Jovi concert this year in New Jersey is pretty damn funny. The band has a pretty good sense of humor about it all considering it's a puppet taking a shit the entire time on their entire musical career. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1EEqt0ovfE]
[Thanks Drew!]
New York Magazine reviews new biography of Chris Farley starting with this hysterical summary of his childhood and young adult antics. Unfortunately these traits would later, the book suggest, result in his tragic but predictable death.
Farley grew up in a wealthy suburb of Madison, Wisconsin, where he was a local legend from childhood. In church once, on the way to communion, he filled his mouth with white Tic Tacs, fell face-first into a pew, and pretended to spit out all his teeth. In math class he crawled on his belly to the front of the lecture hall, hid behind a curtain, and—just as his teacher, a retired Air Force colonel, was delivering his customary terrible joke to end the session—mooned the class. (Farley’s parents were called in, but he wasn’t punished because the authorities laughed too hard every time they tried to talk about it.) In college he was famous for his naked beer slides down the bar and for his filthy room, which other students would visit just to marvel at the squalor. But even early on he exhibited the fatal Farley flaw: a tendency to seek approval at all costs.
Read more here.
HAHAHAHAHA. Seeing someone get smacked in the nuts = Always funny, unless it's me on the receiving end, which never happens because I'm Asian and have ninja like reflexes from all my time training in the dojo.
McSweeney's has some good literal jokes of all categories, from knock-knocks to ethnic to religious jokes none of which offends!
KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE #8 Knock, Knock! Who's there? John. John who? John Wilson, your old friend from college. What a pleasant surprise. Please, come in.POLISH JOKE #9 How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to hold the ladder, and the other to turn the light bulb in a clockwise fashion until it is secured in the socket.
BLONDE JOKE #116 How do you brainwash a blonde? A rigorous schedule of psychologically breaking down their confidence and resistance to outside suggestion.
Read more here.
Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, "You man the guns. I'll drive."
John Mayer takes us behind the scene of his music makin' empire and reveals his inner jackass'ness in this video, which is a lot more appealing than the overly sincere guy crooning about how all relationships are safe 'til St. Patrick's Day because no way in November will you say goodbye, and in December it's obvious why--no one wants to be alone at Christmas time. And come January we're frozen inside and making new resolution a hundred times. Then in February, you're askin' "won't you be my Valentine?" But after St. Patty's Day, all bets are off--unless you're John Mayer and which in that case you're fucking supermodels and cruising around on a Razor scooter.
If I can't get the girl why don't I just tell her I'm John Mayer. How about something everybody can relate to, like when you're fucking one supermodel you make the other ones jealous?
True.
The New York Observer has an interesting interview with an old classmate of mine from college, Jordan Carlos. This was interesting to me:
But to date, comedy writing is pretty whitewashed. As of this season, Saturday Night Live has no black writers. The Daily Show also doesn’t have any, and neither does The Colbert Report."[...]
Soon after the [Washington Post] article came out, Mr. Carlos spoke at a panel on race and comedy in Chicago with Lizz Winstead, the co-creator of The Daily Show. "She said, ‘Well, in a perfect world I would hire staff writers of color.’ I was like, ‘Well, it is your perfect world; you can do whatever you want.’ But it’s the nature of the biz for people to hire their friends, hire whoever they want."
Read rest here.
His "Votin Democrat" video cracked me up fer reals, especially when "McCain" does his bit.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=boNrRO-Eu2w]
Akon calls T-Pain. It's a lot more funny than it sounds. [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=5AB7qL3volo]
I know it's a total gimmick but the Ron Burgundy interviews really crack me up. He brings his unique interview style to people like Rebeccca Romijn Stamos, Michigan State coach H to the Izzo (kinda random tho), and Jesus Christ.
Also, for Will Ferrell fans, check out this clip of a never publicly aired character that he created rocking out with Diddy during one of his SNL rehearsals as he's "rapping" the worst song I've ever heard. It's really a terrible thing.
And on Funny or Die (the website that the aforementioned clips above are taken from), Will Ferrell's venture into new media, this clip introducing Judd Apatow's (the guy behind Knocked Up and Superbad) enlistment is high-lar-ious.
Along with leveraging the PR buzz and industry connection of its founder Will Ferrell, as well as providing an alternative creative outlet for comedians, writers, and actors (with more top-down legal protection I bet than YouTube), Funny or Die is trying to position itself or rather muscle its way into being the YouTube of professional comedy. Despite its awful name, it has a few positives or advantageous that brings me back repeatedly to the website. For one, the actual playback video quality is clearer than YouTube, but loads just as quickly. And secondly, I find a lot of the content pretty hilarious. That said, the site would probably be very popular if it was nothing but Will Ferrell.
The dog owner claims that he was on his way to the gym. And by gym, he meant Dunkin Donuts for his morning buy 6 donuts, get 6 for free usual along with a large coffee.
It's an obvious skit from SNL--hosted by Colts quarterback and (this pains me to say it) Super Bowl champ Peyton Manning--but this is still a pretty hilarious spoof of those NFL and United Way commercials: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-6Ky7_sfPc]