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French Sports Minister Wears Crocs After Losing Olympic Bet

If her athletes returned from the Beijing Olympics with at least 40 medals the French Health, Youth, and Sports Minister Roselyne Bachelot promised to wear pink Crocs. Well, France ended the 2008 Summer Olympics with just that (7 gold, 16 silver, and 17 bronze medals), so on August 27th, she attended a cabinet meeting sporting a pair of pink Crocs.

Rockstars and now the French are wearing them?

You know what that means don't you? Crocs are IN FASHION! And just in time for Fall Fashion Week here in New York too boot croc!

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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED LISTS UNSPORTSMANLIKE OLYMPIC CONDUCT

Related to my popular entry on the decidedly unsportsmanlike action of the Cuban tae kwon do competitor at the Beijing Olympics, Sports Illustrated lists other incidents from this and past Olympics that violate the spirit of the games and fair play. And I don't think this is a big spoiler when I say, "Yes, Hitler made the list."

The six-time gold medalist had the charming habit of spitting a mouthful of water into the lane of her nearest competitor -- "for good luck," she claimed. But Van Dyken took a lot of heat after doing the watery honors to Holland's Inge De Bruijn before the 50-meter freestyle final at the Sydney Games. After finishing fourth to De Bruijn, who bagged three golds, Van Dyken sniffed that she could have won "if I were a man" -- a snarky suggestion that De Bruijn was using performance-enhancers.

Totally unsportsmanlike but spitting into your competitor's lane is pretty ingenious asshole behavior. I predict that in the made-for-TV biopic of Michael Phelps' life his arch rival's signature "evil" move is going to be spitting into Phelps's lane.

View the rest of the SI list here.

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BOLT OF SPEED!

This picture by Olivier Morin during the men's 200m final that Jamaica's Usain Bolt would handedly win is fantastic. Sports photography at its best. Bolt

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CUBAN TAE KWON DO ATHLETE BANNED FOR LIFE AFTER KICKING REF

Disputing the Swedish referee's decision during the bronze medal Tae Kwon Do match, Cuban Ángel Matos kicked the ref in the face resulting in a lifetime ban for Matos and his unapologetic coach.

Matos was winning, 3-2, in the second round, when he fell to the mat after being hit by his opponent, Kazakhstan’s Arman Chilmanov. He remained there, awaiting medical attention, when he was disqualified for taking too much injury time. Fighters get one minute, and Matos was disqualified when his time ran out.

Matos angrily questioned the call, pushed a judge, then pushed and kicked the referee, Chakir Chelbat of Sweden. Matos then spat on the floor and was escorted out.

After my very recent entry on this sport and the Olympics I sort of feel like a prescient dude right now for some reason.

Update: The Times reports that Fidel Castro has stepped into the ring regarding this incident and (not surprisingly) backs his now-banned athlete and coach.

In a column in a state-run newspaper today, Castro sided with Angel Valodia Matos and his coach, who seemed to defend the kick as an appropriate protest and also alleged bribing.

Read more here.

Thinking further about this after a short conversation with N recently, I'm actually surprised the ref was able to take the direct kick to his face for the most part. That's pretty admirable of him.

I feel like if this kick was executed by any of the UFC guys or a decent Muay Thai fighter, it would have been lights out and nap time for the ref. I want to defend the martial art of my homeland, but man, this whole situation makes it look like rather weak sauce. If an Olympic tae kwon do fighter can't knock out a common ref with an unblocked direct shot, then how do devotees of this technique rank against other fighting styles?

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SPORTING BLOOPERS

To balance all the unctuous celebration and awe of the Beijing Olympic athletes and their record setting accomplishments I present you with the following. The athletes featured in this hilarious and brilliant blooper highlight reel should receive some medal for their sheer bloopiness, like maybe a zinc medal? The accompanying triumphant soundtrack heightens the schadenfreude comedy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrtV2hDdOTQ]

[Via]

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OLYMPIC

I figure I have a pass to post this since I get enough shit (har har) about my last name. However for those of you who are laughing but have last names like Smith or White or Brown (har har), you are so culturally insensitive. Ya'll are assholes (har har).

[Via]

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AQUAMAN VERSUS MICHAEL PHELPS

[Okay, I lied. But I swear, this is the LAST entry on not only Phelps but swimming in general.] Aquaman Shrine has a nice comparison between the King of Atlantis and the King of 8 Olympic Gold Medals. While Phelps has Aquaman beat on height, as Chris Rock said, "Aquaman's a hero. He can talk to the fishes." True. One of his "power is the telepathic ability to communicate with/command oceanic life." Bow down bitches to the King of Atlantis. Hear ye, hear ye.

See the comparison chart after the jump.

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PHELPS BODY IS A PERFECT SWIMMING MACHINE

Aside from his training, focus, et cetera, Michael Phelps also enjoys a distinct physiological advantage over his competitors.

Generally, a man's arm span equals his height but in his case it's 6'7" -- three inches more than his height. Naturally his arms work as powerful propulsive paddles, giving him a clear edge over others. His lower body, interestingly, is shorter than that of an average man of his height. His relatively short legs result in less drag or resistance. In short, Phelps has an upper body of a 6'8" person but his lower body seems to be of someone who is only 5"10", which also make the perfect plane in water.

His size 14 feet may not dwarf Ian Thrope's size 17 but Phelps' double-jointed ankles allow him to do a ballerina's 'pointe' standing on the tips of the toes. It allows him to whip his feet as if those are flippers and break loose.

I swear this is my last entry on this kid and his remarkable accomplishment. I really tried to avoid the buzz, but it is quite an astonishing story. I just hope he hooks up his relay teammates who helped him immensely the past few days on his record setting swims as Phelps is about to collect some very large paychecks from sponsors and such.

Lebron James and Kobe Bryant at Phelps' 8th gold medal winning race. When these three went out later that night in the Olympic Village and ran game at the Swedish bikini team and the Brazilian twins, Kobe and Phelps began to tease James about not having a championship of any sort on his resume. Allegedly.

Read more here.

[Via]

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OLYMPIC ODDITIES

Ms. Bug Catcher-A small Chinese woman with a large net assigned to catch the moths during the evening beach volleyball matches, where the Ghostbusters theme song is played. In the same vein at the beginning of each water polo match the theme of Jaws is played. Also, the swimming and water polo events have...attending lifeguards on each end of the pool, "just in case, say, Phelps happens to be drowning." These and other "only at the Chinese Olympics" moments here.

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PHOTO FINISH FOR PHELPS

Sports Illustrated has a great photo sequence of Michael Phelp's insanely narrow victory by 0.01 seconds over Serbian Milorad Cavicin (also a California-Berkeley graduate) in the 100m butterfly Men's swimming event. As they approached the wall in this "agonizingly close" race "Phelps realized he had misjudged the finish."

Most swimmers would have impulsively chosen to glide, but Phelps proved by the slimmest of margins what sets him apart. Following his instincts, he took an alligator-arm stroke and touched the wall. Cavic, a California-born Serb, hit the timing pad in full glide.

[Via]

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ANOTHER SPANISH SPORTS TEAM MAKING SLIT EYED GESTURE

Following in the racist footsteps of their basketball counterpart, another Spanish team has a group photo of them pulling their eyes back and making the slit eyed expression. This photo, found on their team website by Gawker, was apparently taken after they beat China during the tennis 2008 Federation Cup.

No sponsor told them to do this, so what's this team's excuse? Probably that some of "their best friends" are "Chinese."

I experienced this sort of racism back in I think, 3rd grade from Paul during recess and once from a homeless, mentally imbalanced guy after I only gave him a couple dimes and pennies from my pocket.

So Spanish athletes who find this behavior totally acceptable and defensible: Should I treat and view you then like you are mentally imbalanced or like a little child?

Lastly, here's a gigantic middle finger and a big fuck you to all the athletes involved, sponsors, photographer, and their apologists. I'm far too classy to intentionally insult anyone, so if anyone is interpreting my middle finger directed at them as something inappropriate then they are absolutely confused because it is intended to be interpreted as somewhat loving.

Update: I do have to applaud the Spaniard in the pink sweater standing in the back of the team photo. He thought the Chinese just rocked hard.

[Thanks N]

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MICHAEL PHELPS'S BREAKFAST

"…Three sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions and mayonnaise, add one omelet, a bowl of grits, and three slices of french toast with powdered sugar, then wash down with three chocolate chip pancakes."

As well as a side of whup ass.

[Via]

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KOREAN GOLD MEDALISTS

A couple Koreans have won gold medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics with some thrilling and in the case of Judo now-champ Choi Min-Ho, downright gangsta style wins. Choi's victory in Judo is particularly fist pumping because he won the final match with a "devastating move called the maximum ippon" (an ippon is the highest score one can receive in judo). It's crazy how he just quite literally flips it on all his opponents and then the gold medal finishing move is just straight nasty.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Krnh7nGRla8]

And then in swimming Park Tae Hwan snared a gold for South Korea in this close race:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWeUZO9xdyA]

And in related news to assure all those of you questioning my nationalist loyalties, USA! USA! USA!

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