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OVERKILL

This knife, called the Wasp Injector Knife, is outfitted with a gas canister in the handle that "injects a freezing cold ball of compressed gas, approximately the size of a basketball, at 800psi nearly instantly" upon stabbing. I'm going to go ahead and use my once per day quota of the usage of the word "aggressive" now. Back up, I'm using it NOW.

This. knife. is. AGGRESSIVE. No doubt about it.

And it will totally be handy if you ever find yourself in a hand-to-hand combat against Osama bin Laden, Chuck Norris, or a T-Rex. Or against a WATERMELON OF ILL WILL!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa_NC-_fvKs] [Via]

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LIST: 50 GREATEST TV SHOWS

Here's a list of the top 50 greatest TV shows, a topic that is endlessly arguable, however this particular list falls flat on its face from the start of the gun because it does not include It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia which immediately invalidates the list and deprives it of any authority. MRod has spoken. Netflix, Tivo, Surfthechannel (hint hint), rent--I don't care what method you prefer, but see the most hilarious show on television It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia RIGHT NOW and prepare to watch what Seinfeld could have been if it had endeavored for greatness and excellence.

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LAST NIGHT'S PARTY: THE ONE WITH THE CHAMPAGNE DUMPED ON MROD

I realized that drinking straight out of the bottle isn't the most classy thing to do, especially when there were seven or eight lonely full flutes each filled with bubbly only an arms distance away.

But you know what's even more unclassy (Is that a word? Auto spell check says it is not.)? Answer, getting champagne dumped all over you. That is ONLY classy when it occurs in the designated champagne room. Allegedly.

But I still rallied tho, if not soaked, for awhile.

FYI: Last Night's Party segments and other retardo moments in MRod & Co's lives are back so stop.

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CAT FIGHT

Besides the really obvious and sophmoronic headline, this bench clearing brawl between two WNBA teams, the LA Sparks and Detroit Shock, is serious and as the kids are saying ad nauseum, aggressive. This fight between WNBA ballers Candace Parker and Plenette Pierson on Tuesday night in Detroit is crazy. Watch the slow-mo replays later in the clip for the full Ante Up effect: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Uwo8hqKM3s]

Parker got tangled up with Detroit's Plenette Pierson and fell to the ground. As she was getting up, Pierson intentionally ran into her, setting off the melee.

Parker threw a punch at Pierson before being tackled by Detroit's Deanna Nolan. Players and coaches from both teams joined in, and Mahorn knocked Lisa Leslie to the court at one point.

Read more here.

RELATEDLY (And for point of reference):

Here's a photo of Candace Parker standing next to soccer star David Beckham at this year's ESPY's.

Yea, that's serious business. [Thanks N for the video head's up and the strong work the past couple months with the links. He's putting the rest of ya'll to shame.]

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SCENE IN NEW YORK: PENN STATION CLOSED DURING RUSH HOUR?

I was walking past the 34th Street entrance to Penn Station during the evening rush hour only to find a mob scene in front of the gated entrance and a news van unloading. Any one know what was going on? There were some angry commuters. Isn't this how the beginning of all urban zombie or outbreak films begin? Closures of transportation points (e.g., Exits out of the city), and quarantine of those inside??

A rather unimpressed cameraman (who is looking very summer-y with the polo and boat shoes), especially for one who will soon be TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE!!!!!

ZOMBIE ATTACK:

Yes, that is the gold Iron Man t-shirt. Iron Man versus Zombie. Woa. CAA sign me up. That is a summer tentpole movie concept right there.

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GROUNDHOG READER

I spent a quiet night after a tiring work day watching Groundhog Day with my roommates who had never seen it before! That's practically un-American, so I'm glad they rectified their questionable patriotism. I think they enjoyed the movie, and they were intrigued, like many others, by the layered interpretations and meanings that can be found within the story. As I mentioned previously here, by one person's analysis, Phil relived Groundhog Day for a total of 4 years, while the original script called for that to 10,000 years.

Watching it again for the umpteenth time, it reminded me of this act by the agents at Improv Everywhere where they created a living moebius strip at the Astor Place Starbucks:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3hV1qSF-3U]

There's also a crapload of essays written and some published about theology, especially Buddhism, and Groundhog Day. Just Google it. Hah.

Lastly, Google completely failed me, but there is this play that I've seen performed a couple times that mimics (or is it the other way around?) the scenes in Groundhog Day when Bill Murray's character, Phil gets multiple chances to say the right thing to Rita, played by Andie MacDowell, in his attempts to woo her. Yes, I used the word woo. In the play, a guy attempts to solicit a random girl's attention and interest. Each time he fails because he mentions the wrong book or doesn't ask permission to sit down a bell goes off and he tries a different approach. It's amusing and I am annoyed right now that I can't locate it. Does anyone know what I am talking about???

Update: Thanks to the kind commenter who gave me the head's up about the play above. It is an act titled "Sure Thing" from David Ive's All in the Timing aka better known as The Story of MRod's Life.

Here's a lengthy excerpt from this great play:

Bill: Is this seat taken? Betty: No it's not. Bill: Would you mind if I sit here? Betty: Yes I would. Bill: Oh. (Bell)

Bill: Is this chair taken? Betty: No it's not. Bill: Would you mind if I sit here? Betty: No. Go ahead. Bill: Thanks. (He sits. She continues reading.) Everyplace else seems to be taken. Betty: Mm-hm. Bill: Great place. Betty: Mm-hm. Bill: What's the book? Betty: I just wanted to read in quiet, if you don't mind. Bill: No, sure thing. (Bell)

Bill: Everyplace else seems to be taken. Betty: Mm-hm. Bill: Great place for reading. Betty: Yes, I like it. Bill: What's the book? Betty: The Sound and the Fury. Bill: Oh, Hemingway. (Bell)

Bill: What's the book? Betty: The Sound and the Fury. Bill: Oh. Faulkner. Betty: Have you read it? Bill: Not ... actually. I've sure read about ... it though. It's supposed to be great. Betty: It is great. Bill: I hear it's great. (Small pause.) Waiter? (Bell)

Bill: What's the book? Betty: The Sound and the Fury. Bill: Oh. Faulkner. Betty: Have you read it? Bill: I'm a Mets fan, myself. (Bell)

Betty: Have you read it? Bill: Yeah, I read it in college. Betty: Where was college? Bill: I went to Oral Roberts University. (Bell)

Betty: Where was college? Bill: I was lying. I never really went to college. I just like to party. (Bell)

Betty: Where was college? Bill: Harvard.

Ahh, it's so good! I'm sure this is old news to many of you, but if not, read the rest of this play here. Some of you that I know "IRL" should DEFINITELY read this piece. I'm talking to you, DC, CK, and MC! You know who you are.

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BUSINESS TRAVEL 2.0

An externality of the increased gas prices and the accompanying rise of travel costs, in addition to a greater availability of a suite of tech aided communication tools--such as "online document sharing, wikis and Internet telephony"--means that business trips at large and small companies are increasingly being replaced with video conferencing. But really what got me is this awesome photograph to the article:

Now, bring on the HOVERBOARDS AND (non-petrol powered) JETPACKS!

Read more here.

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MY TKTS

After I see a show, event, or movie and I come home afterwards, I typically toss the ticket stub into a little bin I have as a memento. This evening I cleaned my room a bit and tried to organize that bin (In other words, I had an AWESOME Monday night! Woohoo!!). I took photos in no particular order of the random assortment of tickets I've kept: Pretty decent weighty, but popcorn affair. (Previously.)

A fairy tale not meant for children and not really the best choice on Valentine's Day either... (Previously.)

Thanks to Bearnot for the hook up on the ticket to the Yankees' last home opener in their current stadium before they relocate next year across the street to their new home. (Previously.)

Saw it this past weekend. Awesome. (Previously.)

It's no National Gallery or the Met, but I've never had as much fun as I did at this modern art museum thanks to the company of Erin and her groovy parents. (Previously.)

More after the jump.

I used to get hooked up with these Knicks tickets at my old job. I was just thinking the other day that it's an indictment on the sad affairs of the Knicks the past four years that in this city of stars I cannot think of any prominent billboard or signage advertising a single player on the Knicks. That is wrong.

As much as the Knicks sucked, I always had so much fun at these games, especially the time my friend and I sneaked down to the courtside seats.

A movie I enjoyed seeing, glad I saw it, but would never watch again.

A pretty decent museum. (Previously.)

I felt like I had more (I went to at least 5 Knicks games last year, but only kept two of them for example). Oh well.

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ALLEGED CROOKED COP SHAKES DOWN STARBUCKS

Man, this Daytona Beach policeman really liked his Starbucks coffee.  Lt. Major Garvin, a 15-year veteran, was fired after allegedly demanding free coffee from a particular Starbucks location which he would visit "up to six times a night while on duty, sometimes staying there as long as an hour" and further, would always go straight to the front of the line.  There, he didn't want just coffee, no, he demanded "free passion tea and coffee laced with white chocolate mocha syrup." It was a slow news day apparently in Daytona.

Read more here.

[Via]

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ART ON ALZHEIMER'S

Artist William Utermohlen was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1995, from which point he began chronicling his descent into the disease. These self-portraits painted from that period until 2000 when he was no longer able to hold a paintbrush provides an interesting visual insight into the mysteries of the human mind.

His wife and his doctors said he seemed aware at times that technical flaws had crept into his work, but he could not figure out how to correct them.

“The spatial sense kept slipping, and I think he knew,” Professor Utermohlen said. A psychoanalyst wrote that the paintings depicted sadness, anxiety, resignation and feelings of feebleness and shame.

It's fascinating to me that the nose or perhaps the sense of smell remains the strongest visual feature in each of his paintings.

Read more here.

[Via]

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A TALE OF SPURNED LOVE VIA A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MENU

From the latest New Yorker: This list of fourteen appetizers, written passive aggressively, provides an account of a dinner party, whose guests included the host's ex-girlfriend and her new man, gone horribly wrong. An excerpt:

5. Tell Marissa that you appreciate her concern, but in the two years since Cheryl broke off the engagement you’ve grown up a lot, and you’re really in a much healthier place now. Then say, “Speaking of fiancés, how’s Peter’s alcoholism?” (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)

6. For a taste of the U.K., fry up mini-servings of fish-and-chips. Take it to the next level by wrapping them in small pieces of newspaper, which, oddly enough, all seem to be printed with unfavorable reviews of Jeff ’s novel.

Genius.

Read rest here.

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WORKOUT MUSIC

I saw this music video of Eric Prydz vs. Floyd (Proper Education) at the gym the other day where it captivated quite a few of us. Cool song, cool music video. [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=afa-2HErL70]

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