So while some of my friends will be enjoying this year's fireworks extravaganza from the comforts of a Manhattan high rise, I will be celebrating Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum's triumph over the invading aliens and their superior technology by hiding away in the tony Westchester suburb of Scarsdale. Surrounded by the flora that at one time commanded the same area that would eventually be demarcated as first "New Amsterdamn" and then later "New York City," the closest I will be to this year's Independence Day celebration is the interruption of nearby exploding fireworks and the howling of distressed dogs. My current hermitic status is largely self-imposed as a sort of an act of self-flagellation. Rather than enforcing religious discipline and commitment, I'm using my social isolation in Scarsdale to establish self-discipline in my job hunt. In addition, by placing myself in the very environment and condition I loath, I'm further forcing myself to push just that much more to find employment. Like The Good Book said, "in a job, I shall find salvation."
In sum, I leave you with these words by President Thomas Whitmore:
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"
Enjoy your hotdogs, kids.