Inspired by ESPN's resident tenured columnist and all-things-Boston-sports maven and super fan Bill Simmons and his recent 8 hour marathon chat with his readers, I have an epic "News I Find Interesting" segment for ya'll. It's basically a backlog of items I've come across in the past months on the Internet that I've been meaning to share with ya'll. Speaking of sharing, Bill Simmons also asked in his latest column, "Who's the oldest celebrity you'd be excited to have sex with?" He went with Sophia Loren. Maybe for another generation. But I thought she was dead? I'd probably have to say Jane Seymour. I'm just sayin that the Dr. Quinn the Medicine Woman can treat me anytime and by treat me, I mean you know, do me. The more you know, kids, the more you know.
1. A fantastic New Yorker, natch article about Frida Kahlo. I just realized that I've never actually seen any of her paintings or Diego Rivera's work either, in person.
2. Football cheerleader gets run over by football team. Someone needs to splice this video with that of Chris Tucker's character from Friday yelling "You got knocked the pffffuck out!"
3. Speaking of getting knocked the pffffuck out, check out this video clip of a loud talking fat white kid challenging one of his Asian classmates to a little parking lot sparring session. I don't think this was sanctioned by the state boxing or gaming commission and I don't condone this sort of behavior among youths, but god damn fat white kid got knocked the pffffuck out!
4. Pornography has always been an early adopter of emerging technologies, stretching back to the printing press. This has profited the modern adult entertainment industry greatly as they've been quick to embrace new modes of displaying their product. However, lately, the YouTube revolution has spawned a naughtier side which has the porn industry Goliaths shaking in their clear 5 inch high heels. (Don't worry, it's an article from Conde Nast Portfolio.com.) Who knew that people may prefer free amateur un-glossy low resolution porn over the stylized and hyped productions offered by companies like Vivid?
5. That YouTube "Chocolate Rain" celebrity sells out to Dr. Pepper. And now is like, totally uncool, man.
6. The Economist forecast for 2008. Slightly cloudy with a possibility of light showers in the afternoon, and your new POTUS will be Hillary Clinton.
7. John Ashcroft willing to walk the talk and be waterboarded. By all means, good sir. It makes me sick to my stomach that we are still having a national debate about whether this is or isn't torture. IT'STORTUREYOUMOTHERFUCKERS!
8. Relatedly, see Romney's dodging response to the question about waterboarding in the recent YouTube CNN Republican debate (yea, that same debate where not a single question on the health care mess in this country was asked) as well as McCain's great reply to Romney in the same video clip above.
9. Snoop Dogg's new "Sensual Seduction" is the flyest music video right now.
10. A US judge threw an entire courtroom audience into jail over a ringing cell phone. Same judge has been removed from his post.
11. UN Committee Against Torture (it's a good committee) looks at tasers. Specifically pertaining to the US, I'm concerned that with the rise and adoption by the police of "nonlethal" weapons at their disposal, they are too often relying on them unnecessarily when some good common sense and verbal communication, you know--like using their training--would diffuse a situation.
12. Web based dictionary...Web 2.0 style. Wordphiles, meet definr.
13. The world's fastest clapper (yes, certified by Guiness Book of World Records who said, "Brilliant!"). It's 100 times more interesting than it sounds, and I dare you to not try to clap fast while watching. Although it is creepy how he grins at the camera while clapping.
14. The professors at Us Versus Them ask regarding Beyonce: “Is she really thick?” or a just a slimmed down big girl with a dietitian, chef, personal Billy Blanks and Balco (or it’s equivalent) frequent shopper card in her pocket. Their analysis is always hard hitting and informative with a careful microscopic examination of the evidence. And always hysterical.
15. Ironic T-Shirt Mug Shots. Looking through the photos I realized that hipsters and rednecks have another thing in common other than trucker hats (altho these are pretty passe now, no?) and PBR. It inspired me to wear my Mustache Ride (5 cents) t-shirt.
16. The devil is responsible for Google stocks' awesome share price.
17. Flash photography! Quite literally. You HAVE to click on this link (Don't worry, it is not Two Girls One Cup).
18. Great article about the rich mofo who broke the cross country US in a car time. He drove from NY to CA in 31 hours 4 minutes. JetBlue would prolly have gotten him there quicker, except during holiday seasons when the airports like the shut down.
19. Hot Girl.
20. Most influential online videos of all time. [Thanks Jeff!]
21. Secret bars of NYC. Surprisingly no mention of anything in KTown.
22. I'm really excited to check out the new museum on Bowery. Looks amazing, although it's yet another piece of the puzzle to make downtown Manhattan completely unaffordable (like it isn't already...). Sigh.
23. This one house in Brooklyn has been replicated--to sometimes odd effect--all over the world. This is a pretty neat link and you should take three minutes out of your busy schedule to click through you jackasses. Woa, where's this animosity coming from all of a sudden? I may need a drink of water and some food.
24. How much would it take for you to forfeit your right to vote? Half a million dollars? Free tuition at a second tier undergrad institution? iPod Touch? 10 dollar Macy's gift card?
25. A little logic puzzle, "Let's Do Lunch" for ya'll to work out during your lunch break.
26. An amazing, amazing short story that's inspired an episode of the Twilight Zone, and the Simpsons. Clay, you have to read this!
27. Laptop interfaces as imagined by kids, 7-9 year olds before society jumps in and tells them "No, you can't do that! Stick within the lines! Don't take chances!"
28. Pre-photoshop photo tamperings. Yea, that Stalin airbrushing out people from photos is in there too. Man, he was a real bastard. But had a pretty sweet mustache.
29. Super geeky but interesting video demonstrating the mathematical conundrum of turning a sphere inside out WITHOUT creases or sharp corner. You're gonna have to bust out that TI-85 for this one ya'll.
30. Now that it's getting colder and colder outside, check out these NYC bars featuring a fireplace. Although about 6 shots of jagermeister will start a fireplace somewhere between your stomach and throat.
31. Men who look like old lesbians. Yup.
32. The Dell computer "Dude" guy from all those Dell computer commercials back in the day works currently at Tortilla Flats. I wonder if he gets annoyed when people call him "dude" in a non-patronizing or non-referencing context. Like a friend being like, "dude, pass the remote" or something.
33. Beauty and the HOLYFUCKINGCHRISTALMIGHTYJEEZUS Beast.
34. Radar tries to see if offensive t-shirts would result in the wearer being killed in NY. I was disappointed that there was no blood.
35. Wow. I'm done!