Coined the "Butt Bandit," some guy has been terrorizing the residents and business owners in Valentine, Nebraska.
Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.
This is quite a "pressing" issue for the local police chief who isn't at all amused by the elusive and "slippery" vandal. Puns!
[Via]