Entries like these makes me wish my mom was a fob.
Mom: Excuse me, how much for abortion? PetSmart employee: (whispering) We don’t do abortions here. Mom: But I saw sign outside. PetSmart employee: (again whispering) That’s not abortion, that’s adoption.[...]
Mom: You OK? Mommy see on TV the hurricane come. It rain outside, Mommy worry for you. Me: What channel are you watching? Mom: CNN. Me: And what state did they say the hurricane was in? Mom: Florida. Me: Where are we? Mom: Texas… oh, Mommy understand now.
[...]
Me: So what did you think? Mom: It good, but also I am so glad to see the actress in better movies scripts… Me: Which actress? Mom: The one from Chicago. Queef Latina… Me: …Queen Latifah? Mom: WhatEVER.
Queef. LOL.