A snack platter like this is really truly worthy of a Super Bowl that features the marquees of the NFL--not the Cardinals. Anyway, the Super Bowl party I'm attending this weekend better either have this (thanks @pbad) or this:
The Field: 1 Pound of Guacamole 15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone 15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone 2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines
The Players: 15 Vienna Sausages Helmets - 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese
The Goal Posts: 1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post 1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)
The Stands: 58 Twinkies 1 Pound of Bacon 1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos 1 Bag of Cheetos 1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips 1 Bag of Chex Mix
The Blimp: 20 Oz. Football-Shaped Summer Sausage (optional) (on second thought, no, this isn't optional. Go buy one.)
TOTAL CALORIES: 24,375 TOTAL GRAMS OF FAT: 1,285
[Thanks Nnamdi!]