So you accidentally fall into a time warp and get stuck back in the Dark Ages. Once you get over how much that sucked, you're then unsure how to return. So you try to make the best of your situation, which includes getting some medieval tail from that chambermaid, her lack of dentistry work notwithstanding. You need to impress her. You sure as hell don't want to battle some armored asshole in a jousting match to get her attention. Missing teeth, a lance up your ass, and a horse hoof stamped on your forehead ain't so sexy, even in the Middle Ages. So whats a future player like you gots to do? Easy. Like Martin Lawrence in The Black Knight, unleash your knowledge from The Future! But really, do you know how to do anything without access to a computer and Google? Do you know how to pasteurize milk? Put together an electromagnet? Create electricity? Or even a radio? Do you know how to make a compass? What about a clock?
How do you get rid of that annoying "doctor" trying to c-block you from the chambermaid by casting doubt on your futuristic awesomeness and sex appeal? You drop the I CREATED PENICILLIN BOMB in his face. Imagine if you saved the life of the king's heir with this suff. YOU WOULD RULE THAT SHIT. But, do you know how to make penicillin? Hold up. Lets go one step further: Imagine getting rid of small pox, you know, that thing that only killed your sweet chambermaid's entire family, thanks to your vaccination educating dopeness.
You know what used to be more valuable than gold back in this era when the white man rode the short school bus? ALUMINUM. Did you hear that? That was the sound of knowledge being dropped, son. Imagine being able to know how to make aluminum and then, just because you're bored, creating an aluminum suit and strolling around the village in it. King Midas would be calling YOU KING MIDAS. But you probably don't know the first step towards creating aluminum.
Or explode the collective minds of everyone around you by demonstrating the miracle of FLIGHT. FLYING.
Well, here's a cheat sheet by Ryan North listing the fundamentals on how to do all this stuff. Print it and keep it in your wallet just in case you ever get sent back in time. You'll know if this happened to me because your history books would be educating you about the Great MRod Age of Futuristic Awesomeness.
