IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE COMPLETED...

my taxes.  Filed and sent.  Awaiting refund.  High five to myself. Don't forget boys and girls: The deadline to file taxes is April 17, 2007.

If you're wondering why it's not the 15th of April this year, the IRS gots the answer for you:

Taxpayers will have extra time to file and pay because April 15 falls on a Sunday in 2007, and the following day, Monday, April 16, is Emancipation Day, a legal holiday in the District of Columbia.By law, filing and payment deadlines that fall on a Saturday, Sunday or legal holiday are timely satisfied if met on the next business day. Under a federal statute enacted decades ago, holidays observed in the District of Columbia have an impact nationwide, not just in D.C. Under recently enacted city legislation, April 16 is a holiday in the District of Columbia. The IRS recently became aware of the intersection of the national filing day and the local observance of the new Emancipation Day holiday after most forms and publications for the current tax filing season went to print.

Individuals in the District of Columbia, as well as in six eastern states, already had an April 17 filing date prior to this announcement because they are served by an IRS processing facility in Massachusetts, where Patriots Day will be observed on April 16. These individuals are still required to file on April 17.

There.  Now you've just learned more than you ever wanted to about the tax deadline extension this year.  You're welcome.

GONE-GONE-GONZALES

My new blog header visually symbolizing the diminishing position of Attorney General Al Gonzo and his soon-to-be fired status is from an image originally posted on Huffington Post.

THE EXTENT OF MY DORKINESS

Recently I've started to observe a certain accretive retro-coolness applied to the "nerd" label. Pharrell leads a group called N*E*R*D with decidedly un-nerdy songs like "Lapdance," "Rockstar," and "She Wants to Move."

Working in SoHo, I see all manners of sartorial choices among the hipsters, skateboard culture aficionados, and leggy models that occupy this neighborhood and one of the more popular accessories, I notice that unites these distinct groups are those thick framed glasses (not to be confused with the square framed librarian glasses). Of course everyone knows that those glasses are not some fashion adornment, but a necessary evil to any bonafide nerds (all that reading results in bad eye sight). I know, because I had to wear them for a good chunk of my childhood: you know, during those formative years where insecurities develop.

Aside from adoption or appropriation of certain aspects of nerd-wear, I've noticed hip people who've never actually been a nerd, past or present, assuming that title. This is not to say that a former child drug addict/teen hooker can't become a nerd later on in life. However, I object strenuously to this hijacking, because once the fashionistas and trendsetters get bored and move on to a new style, they'll kick us dorks out of our ultimately temporary seats at the proverbial cool lunch table.

How do I know I'm a dork? Other than a youth consisting mainly of studying and reading past my bed time, I continue to occupy my time with things like this: I spent two hours of my afternoon today watching a show on the History Channel called "Star Trek: Beyond the Final Frontier," which pays tribute to the creator, show, its actors as well as the lead up to the Christie's auction of the costumes, props and more from the show.

The thing is that I don't even like Star Trek--the show or the movies. I am however, fascinated with its technological fantasies.

The auction was really fascinating: A FLUTE, a MOTHERFUCKING FLUTE (which doesn't even work!) from some random episode went for40k and the ship from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" sold for $500,000.

Update: I was in Urban Outfitters yesterday and look at this shirt they are selling there:

I would enter this as exhibit A in the trial on the deleterious appropriation of nerdom by those who do not truly understand the lifestyle and thoughts of actual nerds.

OBAMA NOT BLACK? MROD DISAGREES.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nODHv2gxTTo] The incomparable Ms. Smith pointed me towards this segment from the Colbert Report (I hardly watch television any more, even with a DVR, which probably comes as a shock to those who knew me circa "The College Years.") in February where guest, writer, and critical race theorist Debra Dickerson appeared to promote her new contentious book "The End of Blackness" (Confession: I haven't read it). And on the show, she argued that Barack Obama is not actually Black, and consequently lacks credible access to the shared history and legacy of African Americans, because of his biracial heritage.

"But...but, I thought his father is Black?" you ask.

"Nyet" says Dickerson and she notes the oh-so-important distinction that Obama Sr. is Kenyan.

For the layperson, her statement dangerously appears logical, but as Colbert quickly underscored, it's a rather (and obviously) specious argument that she presents, which collapses under its own very illogic nature. To state that Barack Obama isn't Black commits two fallacies. One, it ignores the binary racial framework and reality of American society, as well as the historical roots and context (eg. One drop rule) within which racial identity is formed and shaped in the United States. Second, it robs Obama of his ability to translate and inject his personal narrative into a transformative and empowering voice in an entrenched and static political landscape.

I like to suspect that Dickerson's denial of Obama's Black identity originally developed as an intellectual exercise among her and her friends or colleagues that grew beyond the scope of its purpose and now she's painted herself into a corner on this issue. It's all so ludicrous.

BEST PROTEST PICTURE OF 2007

(Via)

Exactly.

(Original link)

HISTORIC JEOPARDY MOMENT

For the first time in my favorite game show, Jeopardy's history, the contestants all finished with identical scores for a three-way tie!

That is so gangsta. Who is Bonnie Parker?

Check out the video clip (I heart You Tube):

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZV9vuKfVO04]

I love Alex's response when he sees the final contestants score: 'AH-HA!'

Update: From Metafilter's usual bookish crowd discussion, some have theories on this result not being as randomly odds defying as it appears on surface.

"Doofus Magoo" writes: The guy in the lead was grinning like the cat who ate the canary while the answers of the other two were being revealed, so I think he was deliberately angling for a two- or three-way tie -- and why not? He had to know the other two had bet it all, and regardless of whether he ends up with $16,000 in a tie or $16,001 as the sole winner, he gets his money. By bidding the lower amount he gets to make one or two other people very happy at no cost to himself.

In fact, you could argue that he benefits from this strategy, as he gets to compete again against people that he may be confident he can beat.

"SeizeTheDay" continues: I agree with Doofus (I don't think I've ever said that before...it's just so odd). The guy is apparently a puzzle wiz and a computer science professor. He clearly knew what he was doing when he made that bet. There might be a three-fold argument: one, he was doing the other guys a really nice favor by tying instead of winning outright (since 2nd place gets $2500 and 3rd place gets $1000); two, he was ensuring that he knew who his competition would be for the next time (dude has now won over $60K; he's clearly not dumb); and three, his name and face will always be in the Jeopardy record books for being a part of the three way tie. Pretty ingenious.

Doofus Magoo investigates further on the Jeopardy message boards and comes across a response from the third contestant who bet the $2600 to make the threeway tie possible:

Hi, everybody. I was interested to see what kind of reaction my wager would get; you all have not disappointed me. :-)

So why did I do it? I knew that there had never been a 3-way tie before in the history of the show. (OntarioQuizzer is right that a kid had asked if there had ever been a 3-way tie before. I honestly don't remember hearing that question; maybe it registered subconsciously.) I saw the possibility to make Jeopardy history, and I took it. I've never had a philosophical objection to tie games, although I understand the strategic reasons why you shouldn't bet to tie. Making history seemed like a very special reason to bet to tie. Plus it's not every day you get to give away $32,000.

A story: This was the last show taped that day. As my family and friends and I were standing outside the studio absorbing the moment, the schoolteacher who brought the kids that day came up to me and said he wanted to thank me for teaching his kids such a lesson in sportsmanship and generosity. Two of the kids were standing there agog looking at me. It's a moment I'll always treasure and one that wouldn't have happened if I bet that extra $1.

I emailed the YouTube link to a close friend--a friend who generally immediately appreciates the wacky and exceptional--earlier this morning and her response was very indifferent.  Am I the only one here that appreciates this event?

WHAT DOES $53 MILLION IN CASH LOOK LIKE?

Like this. Update: It's actually $205 million.

FOX NEWS: NOT SO ACCURATE AND NOT SO TRUTHFUL

Fox News should be renamed Fox Not News or Fox Inaccurate News.

I HAVE TIMES SELECT!!!!!!

This bit of news, courtesy of the ever brilliant and vigilant members at Metafilter (myself, cough, included), that the New York Times's "Select" aka Times Select--which provides access to their columnists, designated articles, and archives--is now FREE if you have a ".edu" e-mail address, and that made me very happy because I was able to use my current Columbia University e-mail for this.  However, I'm not sure if the "alumni.brown.edu" will work.

YOUR TODAY'S MUST-READ STORY

(Via) I don't even really know how to recap this investigative piece about mysterious letters anonymously sent to various random students at Grinnell College.  The writer, herself (himself?) a recipient of one of these letters decides--almost obsessively--to track down the author of these creepy notes.  Although I don't have the energy or time to research its veracity, it does make for a super fascinating read.  I can see it being expanded into a novel or even a film.

As early as 1992, students at Grinnell College, a small liberal arts school in Iowa, began receiving strange, anonymous letters in the mail. The letters contained homemade greeting cards with crudely drawn pictures—men crawling on the ground, toilets and trash cans, twin closet doors—and jokes that didn’t make any sense. Q: What would a duclod like about the land of the giants? A: Standing in two closets without touching either knob.

In one mysterious letter the sender defined the made-up word duclod as the fusion of two words, dual and closeted, meaning a person who hides his or her sexuality from both gay and straight people. Another letter described the duclod as “bisexual, homophobic, heterophobic, confused.”

The letters were always sent in groups, from four to seven cards reported at a time. They were always postmarked from different, seemingly random parts of the country and always sent during school breaks. Mostly, the letters targeted gay and bisexual seniors. Sometimes they were sent to the student’s school address; sometimes home, possibly in an effort to out the student to his or her parents.

That’s all anyone knew for 14 years.

It's all very creepy stuff.  To read it...click here.

NEW YORKERS DON'T LIKE OUR GRANDMAS BEATEN UP

So this news item is a few days old now, but it's still worth mentioning I think: some douchebag extraordinaire mugged and attacked two old women in New York City. I mean, seriously old women. Try, 85 and 101 years old respectively. Anyway, these attacks were caught on tape, but the perp hasn't been caught. Over a thousand calls, according to this comprehensive coverage by the Gothamist, have been made to Crimestoppers, and while some are helpful tips to the cops that might lead to the arrest of this jackass, a lot of the calls are also from irate citizens mainly calling in to tell the police "...what they themselves would like to do to the suspect when he's caught."

"You better catch him before we do," one angry tipster said of the mugger caught on tape March 4 striking Rose Morat as the centenarian struggled to hold onto her purse.

Another caller suggested the mugger meet the same hanging fate as deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein - "but with barbed wire."

A female caller warned: "If I catch him, that [expletive], I'm going to mess him up." A male voice volunteered to "do to him what he did to her."

Another male caller urged prison-style justice, telling cops to "make sure every [person] in prison knows what he did."

And Mr. T also called in and said, "I pity the fool!...after I get done with him."

This whole situation has a slight comic book tone to it. Spider Man is going to swoop in at any second and apprehend this guy. Then he's going to spidey on over and deliver some flowers to the two old ladies.

Or maybe I'm just really excited for Spider Man 3.

A BOLD CLAIM ON WIKIPEDIA

UPDATE: I recently received a message on MySpace regarding this entry I wrote (see after jump) from January about a Wikipedia entry on Spring, Texas that I came across for some research I was doing for work. Apparently, the hyperbolical entry was written by the nephew of the guy who wrote me on MySpace. It seems the nephew and his friends wrote the Wikipedia entry (highlighting one of the negative aspects to an open source knowledge bank) and the nephew's mother is none too happy that her son and his friends wrote their full names on there on the big, scary Internets. I copied and pasted the Wiki entry, and since then, she's asked me to remove their names. The mother probably watched a bit too many episodes of To Catch a Predator, but hey, the last thing I want to do is piss off a mother, so I'm fulfilling her request.

I said this before, but women sure love to have editorial control and deletion powers over EVERYTHING.

Honestly though, if her kids are savvy enough to go onto Wikipedia and make edits, then they are probably taking a gander at other websites that she wouldn't be too happy to find them visiting. Just an FYI.

Don't ask me why, but I had to do some quick research on the town of Spring, Texas and one of the sources I checked was Wikipedia. It's generally a good advice to not use Wikipedia as the sole source or primary or even secondary source, because you get faulty or exaggerated claims such as this one I found for the entry on Spring, Texas:

Spring Texas is a place where people live such as CH, BS, CC, AS and TR. It also includes Trinity Lutheran School, which is the best school in the world.

That is a bold, bold claim. Replace Trinity with Brown and now we're talking. *Cough*

PRINCE TURNS KIDS GAY

I refuse to believe this complaint filed to the FCC following this year's--Yawn--Super Bowl half time performance is actually genuine, because surely, surely the evolutionary process eradicated the genes that could produce such idiotic bigotry and homophobia:

It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his silluette [sic] while his guitar showed a very phallic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would prefer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering checking him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.

I'm going to file a complaint against some of these people's right to procreate.  I fear for the future of America if America is eventually going to be run by the offsprings of these people.  [Insert Dubya joke here.]  The Smoking Gun's got more complaints.

I'M SO SICK OF THE NON-APOLOGY APOLOGY

I'm so sick of the non-apology apology from people in the public limelight after they utter something racist, sexist, or hateful.  Their "apology," which is never a straightforward acknowledgment that they said something ignorant and malicious, is always cast so as to implicitly blame the victimized individual or group: See Rosie's "mea culpa" after her whole "ching chong" incident. Here's the most recent example after a Boston Celtics radio announcer Cedric Maxwell remarked, during a game, referencing the female referee on the court:

"Go in there and make me some bacon and eggs, would you?"

Clearly, such unquestionably sexist remarks shouldn't be uttered on air (I say it all the time to chicks though in private, but I also throw in,  "and clean the house afterwards" for good measure and then I slap on them on their ass as they walk by) and if it happens, just say you're sorry.  But nope, this genius goes with this non-apology apology:

“If I said anything that might have been insensitive or sexist in any way, then I apologize because she worked extremely hard to get where she is now, end of quote.”

Um, "IF?"  "MIGHT HAVE BEEN?"  "OR?"  "CAPS?"  "CAPS AND QUESTION MARKS?"

Try: "I said something that was incredibly insensitive and sexist and I apologize because she worked extremely hard to get where she is now.  I have begun reading the Feminine Mystique."

I didn't listen to the game, so I don't know whether he said made the bacon and eggs comment as a joke or whether there was a real male chauvinist anger there, but if it was an attempt at humor, he should know better.  If I know what I say is going to be broadcast to tens of thousands of people, I'm not going to be making jokes about how fast my people can deliver food on one-speed bicycles (They ARE fast though).

Anyway, I guess there's a good reason why Cedric Maxwell is only on radio.  OOOH BURNNNN.

In the meantime, GO RED SOX!

ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED

After years of hard time partying, drinking, drug use, old man fucking (for "love") and Trim Spa-ing, Anna Nicole Smith died today. In other news: lots of stuff on the front page of the NY Times.

MOTOROLA RAZR A TOTAL LOSER?

The Times has an article about the rapidly diminishing popularity of the Motorola Razr family of phones.  Along with the company's diminishing profits, Motorola's also rapidly lost the foothold it once held as the Prom Queen of cell phones.  I remember when I first saw the Razr a couple years ago, I was blown away by it's thinness and sexiness.  Now, it has the same "cool" cachet as a Ford Focus.

When the sleek Motorola Razr V3 cellphone first hit the stores just over two years ago, it carried the price tag of a must-have status symbol: $500.

Now? About $30 with a two-year service contract.

Motorola’s fortunes have plunged along with the price of its Razr. Its profits have collapsed, and it announced plans last month to lay off 3,500 workers. Since last October, its stock has dropped 30 percent, attracting the attention of the billionaire investor Carl C. Icahn, who bought 40 million shares last week on a bet that he could push the company to do better.

At first glance, the company’s troubles are puzzling. Almost one billion mobile phones are sold worldwide each year, and Motorola has almost a quarter of the market. Consumers are also replacing their phones faster, on average less than every two years.

But the cellphone business is still relatively young, and Motorola is learning a cruel new lesson about consumer tastes in phones. An industry that has focused more on microchips, screen size and data speed is finding it has more in common with the fashion business.

I was reminded of this article and the fickle and mercurial nature of trendiness, when I was checking my email this morning and found a new email from my bank offering me a free Razr.  Sad.  Poor, poor Razr--From hero to zero in the proverbial blink of an eye.

Although what's even sadder is this one quote from the article from an "Albert Lin, an analyst at American Technology Research [who] paid $500 to obtain a Krzr a few days before the introduction, and carried it for all of one week before giving it to a friend."

“I was hoping to be treated like a movie star on the streets of New York, like I experienced with the Razr,” he said. When that didn’t happen, he switched to the ultra-thin Samsung model, which he said was having the desired effect. “When I take it out, everyone asks me, Is that even a real phone?”

Seriously?  Treated like a movie star on the streets of New York because of a phone?  Maybe in White Rock, South Dakota, population of 6.  The only phone capable of bestowing such veneration on the user...would...be...the iPhone.  Haha.  I always enter such a warped distorted reality when it comes to Apple products.

Tangentially and slightly off-topic: this might merely be just a reflection of my old age, but I still think the Moto StarTac is one of the greatest phones ever.  Can I get a holla on this from my friends reading this at the senior citizen's home?

IGUANA "BOBBITIZED"

(Via) An iguana at a zoo in Brussels had his penis amputated (Guys, did you just cross your legs when you read that?  Because I totally did...and I think I even cried a little) by vets because he was "suffering" from a permanent hard-on.

Zoo officials decided on the operation after keepers called in experts when they saw the iguana was in some discomfort, and having trouble walking because of the permanent erection.

Remedies from cold water to introducing female iguanas into his enclosure all failed and it was decided that an operation was the only solution to the problem.

But losing a schlong is no big deal for this iguana ("Mozart").  Why?  Because male iguanas apparently have two of 'em love making tools.  But, I'd be keeping it realll platonic for awhile if I was that Mozart, now that he's down to his spare tire, so to speak.

FLAVOR OF LOVE: MONEY'D GUYS AND HOT GIRLS

I think the people that participate in this event pretty much deserve one another.  There's a speed dating event next week where the requirements for participants are such: Guys, be rich and girls, be hot. How rich? Like a minimum of $200,000 salary (more depending on age), assest over $1 million, and at least a $4 million trust--with documents to back it up.

And the prospective girls must submit 5 photos for 'hotness' review.

Sweet. A killer stock portfolio and glamour shots. That is love.

Check it out here.

OBAMA O'HELL NO!

Don't try to swiftboat Obama with this madrassa bullshit, because he's going to call you out on it.   And by you, I mean the Right Wing "press."

PORN DOES SOCIETY GOOD (ALLEGEDLY)

A paper came out of Northwestern University Law School succintly titled "Porn Up, Rape Down."  The bold abstract:

The incidence of rape in the United States has declined 85% in the past 25 years while access to pornography has become freely available to teenagers and adults. The Nixon and Reagan Commissions tried to show that exposure to pornographic materials produced social violence. The reverse may be true: that pornography has reduced social violence. 

As soon as I read this, I immediately thought of my political statistics class at Brown where the professor (who shadily made us buy the course packet directly from him--cash only) drilled this refrain into my feeble mind: "A correlation is not necessarily a causal factor."