Nothing is so predictable in New York City on a warm spring day as lunch outside at Coffee Shop in Union Square.
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Throwing a knuckleball for a strike is like throwing a butterfly with hiccups across the street into your neighbor's mailbox.
- Willie Stargell
Despite being under the Dayquil weather, my roommate dragged me to his girl's birthday party in Brooklyn. His reasoning: "After drinking you'll feel better anyway." Morning after update: I emphatically do not feel better at all today after drinking last night, but at the time it sounded valid and reasonable. Anyway, a couple pics. I had my friend Lea meet me there at the bar as it was near her apartment.
Lea digging through her purse to show us something from the latest issue of Vice. Warning: It's very aggressive and not safe for work or around grandmothers. More after the jump.
Bam! Vag Bag! Comment: I like how Lea bookmarked this page.
Scene: Friend "L" struggles to finish her shot of Patron. By struggle I mean, it took her three attempts, plus four limes, plus adding some mixer of water to the shot, plus the moral support of yours truly as well as a stranger sitting at the bar. Afterwards: Me: When I said shots, what kind of shot were you expecting?
L: I dunno! Something like skittles shot!
Wilco aka my favorite band is performing at McCarren Park Pool this summer in August. This is where if Wordpress would allow it I would upload and embed a couple of my favorite songs by this band to share with ya'll the brilliance that is
Wilco.
Nothing is so predictable in New York City on a warm spring night as a long motherfucking line at Shake Shack at 8 PM. It's as predictable as death and taxes.
Me: How's the girl man? Me: Or rather
CM: LOL
Me: ...the girl, man?
CM: There you go.
Me: Big diff.
C: Do you know why no one lives in that apartment building behind us? Me: No. Do you?
C: No.
Me: ...
Me: I heard that someone died there ten years ago.
C: Shut up.
Me: People have gone in but were never heard from again.
Me: Woa, now I'm just really scaring myself.
Me: It's like the Westing House.
[What I meant to reference was the book The Westing Game which was like my favorite book as a kid. It was so badass.]
If anyone swings by Union Square on Friday night please snap a few photos for me of this silent rave taking place there. Thanks!
I'm assuming it'll be people acting out what will appear to be an old iPod commercial...on mute.
A German ad agency was asked to create an ad for a family run hat shop in Bonn. This was the winning result:
Obviously, this ad demonstrates using iconic imagery and symbolism, from both pop cultural and historical sources, the transformative power of hats.
I think the ad is interesting, and stylistically brilliant. Although I can't help wonder about the reaction if a non-German ad agency created this. Either way, the debate surrounding it makes me recall this quote I came across awhile ago:
Is it possible for anyone in Germany, nowadays, to raise his right hand, for whatever the reason, and not be flooded by the memory of a dream to end all dreams?
-- Walter Abish, How German Is it?
Without question Vladimir Putin is probably the most powerful man on this planet right now, and when the most powerful man on this planet wants to divorce his 50-year-old wife and get hitched to a former Russian rhythmic gymnast champion then goddammit, the most powerful man on this planet is going to divorce his wife and get hitched to a former Russian rhythmic gymnast champion. There's so much to discuss here. But first, lets clear the issue of the story's validity and factuality (is that a word?) right away.
There isn't any. Lets consider the sources. One, I first came across this story via Gawker. Second, it's regarding Motherland Russia. So, is this story true? Who the fuck knows. But lets just enjoy it as if it is true like if I told you that the French President's new wife, a former model, recently had a nude photograph of her auctioned off at Christie's.
So what is Putin's new object of affection doing in her post-gymnast life? You guessed it too?! Wow, who would have thought we'd BOTH correctly guess that she is now a member of the Russian parliament. Lets all pat ourselves on the back. Shoot, I can't because I'm not very flexible. But you know is? Alina Kabaeva, the future Mrs. Putin. And cue YouTube.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mam9dYyXv6s]
And because Putin could have me disappear at any moment, I want to just state that for the record I'm so happy for this couple.
Kottke linked to a nice list of mass people killin' in the bible. And by nice, I mean of course appalling. But in the same way I was appalled when the Sentinels under the control of Sebastian Shaw murdered many members of the X Men. That is, I read this stuff and take it with a grain of salt. Anyway, here's some good ol' fashion biblical smiting!
4. Elijah (and God) burned to death 102 men. 2 Kings 1:10-12 5. David killed 200 Philistines to purchase his first wife with their foreskins. 1 Samuel 18:25-27, BT 6. Abishai killed 300 men with a spear. 2 Samuel 23:18, 1 Chronicles 11:20, BT
Rest of the list here.
Apparently the 4 am last calls are a thing of the past as the influential Community Boards are only recommending new nightlife joints to the New York State Liquor Authority unless the bar owners agree to an early last call of 2 am or even earlier! Travesty! When the new bar I'm at closes before I'm ready to call it a night, I'll just hop on over to Botanica on Lafayette between Mott and Mulberry.
Apologies for lack of bloggage here the past couple days. Believe it or not, I'm sick AGAIN. As compensation I offer you bacon. Delicious, greasy bacon.
[Thanks Munira]
First of all, for most of the US population having a $100,000 is just an absurd impossibility, particularly in 1998 when considering inflation. That said there is still a sizable number of people where such an opportunity is completely feasible...and I really hate those people. Just kidding! I hope to join your ranks...someday. Anyway, thanks to Gawker (man, that website is all over the place now...it's like Digg with spell check) I checked out this interesting New York Magazine article breaking down what the return today would have been if in 1998 you invested $100,000 in the following:
- Harlem townhouse shell
- One-bedroom co-op in the Le Havre Complex in Whitestone, Queens
- 3,298 shares of Apple stock
- 1,500 shares of TheGlobe.com stock (initial IPO high of $97 a share)
- 323 ounces of gold
- Consumers.com (yes, you bought a domain name)
- 20 Hermes Kelly bags
- BMW 750IL
- Two Steinway Model B grand pianos
- 64 cases of 1998 Dom Perignon
- Keith Haring's painting Untitled (1983)
Before clicking to find out which item would have given you the biggest return, which do YOU think is the most valuable today. Hint: If you say TheGlobe.com shares then I will say you are an IDIOT and banned from reading my blog. Or ever giving an opinion again.
Answer and rest of article here.
Either way, am I the only one that got super depressed after reading this?
Step away from the seedy underbelly of Craigslist Missed Connection and take your subway stalk crush to this website SubwayCrush.com where you can post about your crush on that super hottie on the R train reading the latest Mother Jones This post is my favorite.
Did ya'll see what I also did there with the word "website?" I corresponded the letters with their subway track colors. That's called "mind blowing creativity" I believe. Could be wrong. Nah, mind fucking blowing creativity. No citation needed.
It's true! I swear! It was on Grey's Anatomy.
- Director of [Redacted]
The promotion currently running at all Subways--any footlong for $5 is marketing genius. This price point is perfect enough to tip the lunch decision scale to Subway over other options. That plus the fact the sandwiches are delicious makes it the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid of marketing.
This is what happens when you pass out in the middle of chatting with someone. LOL.
Tax man cometh
And I want punch him in the faceth.