If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end - I wouldn’t be surprised.
Hi-ho!
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you still virgin? you know…….no balloon, no party ok? ok - My mom is a fob
Hahahaha.
When I see that kid, I'm gonna crack that big fucking nose of his...and then I'm gonna tell him 'Say hi to your mother for me. I'm gonna get on a plane tomorrow, I'm gonna go down to 30 Rock or wherever the fuck they shoot that show, he probably doesn't have a dressing room so I have to find him in the cafeteria or wherever, and I'm gonna slap him in the big nose. Tune in, I gauran-fuckin-tee you. - Douchebag Marky Mark unable to take a joke.
[T]he closer a man approaches tragedy the more intense is his concentration of emotion upon the fixed point of his commitment, which is to say the closer he approaches what in life we call fanaticism. - Arthur Miller
Watching the DJIA ... It's like playing Line Rider...
- Paul
Shameless Plug: If you don't know what Paul is referring to it is this great game called Line Rider that you can play for free on MySpace Games!
Your evil spawn and her vacuous hubby, Brad Pitt, make about $40 million a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity. - Roseanne Barr
Why, Mr Stevens, why, why, why do you always have to pretend?
- Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day
The root of all men’s desire is to have sex. When you brush your teeth, it’s to have sex. When you eat, it’s, well, I gotta have energy to have sex. When you get dressed, you think, Oh, maybe if I wear these jeans I’ll be more likely to have sex. - Seth Rogen
I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra. I'm never likely to go there.
- Billy Connolly
Let me guess. You were probably the big asshole in your high school, right? You'd pick on guys like us every day. But then graduation came, and we went to college and you went nowhere, so you thought, "How can I still give them shit? I know! I'll become a cop!" Well, congratulations. Your dream's come true. - Kumar
We went to the Moon as technicians; we returned as humanitarians.
- Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut and 6th person to walk on the moon.
My self-esteem is so low that getting the Pulitzer Prize just made me break even.
- Franz Wright
I am a beau in nothing but my books.
- Adam Smith (Allegedly)
If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, whom would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
- Stephen Levine