I recently discovered that I have 31,000 mileage points that are still eligible for use. I may use it to buy a one-way ticket to Lonesome Town. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVvIfoNBY3w]
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Erin sent me these two hilarious videos: 1. Is your ass too small? Or more properly, is your ass too light? This video ain't what you think it is.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=dr2sK-FPPMM]
2. When dogs attack! Pluto goes crazed at Disneyland and goes after a kid.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvlzkdxad-A]
In exchange for these two totally awesome +2 hysterical hit points YouTube videos I offered her this jive video of DJ Precocious and DJ Adorable mixing it up at the turntable:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2josUqMTUmE]
I asked for and received an extension on my weekly Easy Listening Sunday segment this Labor Day weekend, which explains its absence yesterday. I apologize to the three readers out there, somewhere, who sat for naught on emotional pins and needles awaiting their weekly Sunday tune. I have a deep confession: I don't really like the Beatles. I know, blasphemy! Will someone out there just give me a holler or at least an 'amen' to let me know that I'm not the only one that feels this way about this British boy band from the days of yore? I do however like women, but I'm more of a one-woman sort of a guy, so to be accurate (tho' not necessarily grammatical) 'I like woman.'
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaLfDnShEn0]
I may not like the Beatles, but I can recognize the genius of John Lennon. His song writing abilities from what I can discern with my amateur bag of musical knowledge is awesome. If given an assignment to compose a love song or poem (1), the general result would be a comedy of cliched and corny rhymes, and trite metaphors. Yes, this is a 'pop' song, one that could epitomize the easy listening genre, and consequently easy to dismiss, yet I challenge anyone to write something comparable.
1. Genres that are two sides of the same coin? Discuss.
Update: Just to clarify for those confused, the screenshot below is an after image. To see what he looked like before his surgery check out the videos linked in this entry.
Arnold Schwarngsznager wishes, just wishes he had a tumor as rockin' as this local Chinese man. This event occured last month but somehow passed beneath my radar.
With tumors on his face and head that would make even the most compassionate of souls like Mother Teresa say "Damn B! What is that?!" Huang Chuncai, 31 bravely underwent a potentially life ending surgery to get part of his 33 pound tumor removed. Yep, not only is it a tumor, but it's 33 pounds of it, too.
The operation was a success--but in yet another example demonstrating that God, if s/he exists, has a twisted sense of humor--as a result of the removal of some of the tumor, he has now lost his balance and cannot walk properly, which was one of the central reasons given by the doctor leading to the decision to operate in the first place (aside from the fact HE HAS ELEPHONIC TUMORS ALL OVER HIS ENTIRE FUCKING FACE). As I've learned recently, some guys have all the luck and for others, life sometimes just ain't fair.
Anyway, here's the video with uber tumor survivor (Say that 10 times fast in a row). And Angelina Jolie's really taking her interest in the nonwhites of the world to another level because here's a YouTube clip of her comforting Huang Chuncai.
[Er, thanks Munira?]
Tired of the played out tropes in hip hop music videos--you know, the bling, the girls, the Cristal, the guns, the machismo? Well, this video has something you've NEVER seen in a hip hop video...or any music video for that matter, unless you've previously already seen male rappers give birth, not to the next beat or seminal verse, but to an actual baby. Even if you dont like rap, watch this video for the first 33 seconds. You'll either thank me or hate me later.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKJb4iZ3eoQ]
Thriller is undeniably the greatest music video of all time, with an extremely compelling dance routine and moves whose inimitablility paradoxically screams for imitation and parroting. As a result, we've all seen countless Thriller reenactments in various school talent shows, Bollywood knockoffs, weddings, involving Legos and marching bands, and even Final Fantasy. However, I've never quite seen Thriller quite like this, featuring hundreds of inmates at a Filipino penitentiary participating in this epic synchronized dance-a-thon, including a cross dressing inmate reprising the role of "Michael Jackson's" fearful date:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o]
[Thanks Chris!]
Update: The inmates above did a Michael Jackson routine and the world took notice. The AP sent a reporter over to get the scoop on this thrilling story that isn't as black and white as one would suspect.
Another week down--Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and...Sunday. Your weekend may or may not have ended the way you were hoping it would when you got off work or class on Friday, but regardless it did come to an end. There are only two other constants to life other than the inevitability of the forward progress of time: your weekly Sunday dose of easy listening music and unrequited love. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBuom7juPRg]
Lauren introduced me to a hysterical clip of a local commercial (these are always the worst) that someone uploaded to Youtube with the apt title "Worst Commercial Ever," but goddammit if it doesn't have the catchiest jingle ever. It truly is a Best of the Internets. What also made it so great is that while sitting in the lobby of movie theater we were able to watch it on her--revolutionary!--iPhone (IMUSTHAVEONE!). [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiHaqCFQLxA]
And in turn, I sent her the link to this classic bit about ice cream from Eddie Murphy's standup. After seeing this, everytime I have ice cream I always want to swing my hips side to side and gloat to those who don't got none that I got some iceeee creaaam.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f04BeB0rUtc]
Want to escape your Sunday morning hangover? Jump into my time machine to circa 1999. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4qZec7B6oU]
Ali versus Frazier in the great Thrilla in Manila? Pssh. That pales in comparison to this epic battle on Independence Day: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3oJVECCn1E]
Here's the Akira inspired music video for Kanye's new (?) single that samples Daft Punk (who sampled Edwin Birdsong). [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZd1Js0QaOI]
Yet another Sunday which means another installment of your favorite weekly soft music jam for your hang over or broken heart...or both. If hung over I recommend an extremely chilled Coke AND Gatorade and anything from the McDonalds breakfast menu, then finish this off with a cup of coffee. If heart broken, then I don't know what to tell ya'. Whatever it is that you do to mend it just don't come off like Sting who basically sounds like a stalker.
Every breath you takeEvery move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you...
Stalker! Good song though.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXq3hO82cTY]
With midnight rapidly approaching this Sunday is nearly officially over, but I still have five minutes left before the calendar flips pages. What? You thought I was at the end of the road with my Easy Listening Sunday segments? Never fear, let Boyz II Men ease you into Monday with this soft R&B classic : [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZcG0NBMcDA]
Last night...we go to a party, and everyone turns to see this beautiful lady walking around with me. And then she asks me, "Do you feel alright?" And I say "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight." A few hours later, after passing out in the subway platform ground, I somehow managed to make it home and at that point I didn't feel so wonderful and promptly threw up. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8ipQl9pywg]
So you think you have a complicated handshake/greeting with your boys? This video pays homage to that tradition. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVge3CiE5uU]
Yep, it's another edition of your favorite weekly Easy Listening Sunday. Some guys have all the luck, some guys have all the pain, some guys get all the breaks, and some guys get backhanded compliments like "I had to talk to you after I saw that you were wearing sneakers and skinnier than the usual jeans in this place."
Anyway, this might be one of the worst music videos ever, which makes it--follow the logic--one of the best music videos ever.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUC7IoW65hg]
Some people have way too much time on their hands. God bless them. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9bKAZDRi4o]
My trip this weekend to Phoenix didn't quite involve anything as melodramatic as saying goodbye to a lover before departing--although I do consider myself an expert in this field, a field that I possess a PhD in actually--but I figure this song by John Denver, "Leaving on a Jet Plane" is speciously apropos for this week's Easy Listening Sunday segment. [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=vLBKOcUbHR0]
This song holds a special spot in my heart. A few years ago, I had to leave my fiance behind--she had just happily agreed to my proposal--for a secret government mission (basically we had to destroy a killer asteroid heading straight for our planet). As my teammates and I were about to get on the plane, I grabbed my fiance, embraced her and lifted her up. I was trying to alleviate the fears that she had for me. For us. She had a brave smile. Holding her, I began singing, despite what can charitably be described as a singing voice that killa puppies, "All my bags are packed, ready to go..." It was really great when the boys, especially the fat one (that's what we called him, "the fat one") jumped in with his baritone voice.
It was a nice moment.
Too bad her father died during our mission.
She and I divorced a year ago.
Planet Earth on Discovery was awesome as was March of the Penguins and I love all the other nature shows and documentaries, but I've never seen such a three way battle royale as this amateur video shot. Video starts off foreboding but ponderously (hey, you can't rush Nature). Stick with it.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM]
Good morning citizens of planet Earth. Did you make it alive out of the apocalypse of Saturday night? If so, I reward your for surviving the drunken mayhem unleashed by the Four Horsemen--Jack Daniels, Grey Goose, Pabst, and Cuervo--by presenting you with this black and white easy listening goodness from Extreme, "More than Words." [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YldxuVuxb0k]