CONAN VS. SERENA IN A WiiCKED TENNIS MATCH

This is why I love Conan O'Brian over all the other late night hosts, although my old fogie self as of late is finding his show's airing a bit past my bedtime.  This is where you whisper, "That's because you're an old man.  You're a burden now to our society.  Shuffle away and just die." But thanks to the user generated, or rather user recorded content power of YouTube and the near instant gratification that it provides, I was able to view a segment from Thursday night's episode of Conan O'Brian that featured him (in a very special, that is in very especially disturbing costume) in an epic tennis match against tennis great Serena Williams...brought to you by the Nintendo Wii.

I won't spoil the outcome for you, but watching it and seeing just how fun these two were having with the Wii made me decide which to eventually choose between the Nintendo and the Xbox 360.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhGi0F3ms5w]

JOINING A GYM

Why is it that finding and joining a gym (at least in New York--I don't know what this experience is like any where else) feels like buying a used car from snake oil salesmen salespeople?

HOW TO BAR FIGHT (THEORETICALLY)

(Via) [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwppgeQQ4sA]

The kick to the groin (never to be underestimated) looks to be the most efficient--altho jabbing the person with the receipt pin appears effective too...if you want to KILL the other person.  Although, on second thought, stabbing a person through the frontal cortex with the receipt holder is acceptable punishment for anyone who looks towards Kryptonite's way.

SMALL INSIGNIFICANT RANT

I'm hating that Flickr--the repository of my photos--is making "old skool" users (those who joined prior to Yahoo's purchase of Flickr) get rid of their existing logins and instead forcing us to use a Yahoo one.  A big boo to that.  Now I have to use my "HotAZNStuff@yahoo.com" account as my Flickr login. Damn the Man.

NOTORIOUS MSG CONCERT!!!

So Notorious MSG is performing on Saturday, Feb. 17th at hipster haven Pianos and this rice eating blogger is stoked! I saw them perform with Nick (who nearly started a couple fights that night--good times, Nick! Haha) and Kaizar a while back at the now defunct CBGB. It was a pretty badass show.

Who is The Notorious MSG? The Grey Lady of the Times had a write up about them, unfortunately you have to be a snooty "Times Select" member to see it now, so I'm going to cut-and-paste from their website:

Blasting out of the streets of Chinatown, THE NOTORIOUS MSG have arrived with a vengeance. Serving up deep-fried beats straight from the Chinese ghetto, they will not stop until they achieve complete world domination.

This is the story of three renegade restaurant workers from the hardened streets of Chinatown, New York City. Pursuing their dreams of rap superstardom, Hong Kong Fever, Down-Lo Mein and The Hunan Bomb fled the harsh ghettos of Asia only to face more hardships as second-class citizens in America. They struggled to earn a living, toiling in the kitchens and risking their lives as Chinese restaurant delivery boys. Facing robberies and beatings on a daily basis, their fight for survival came to a head when an unknown assailant killed one of their original band members, Funky Buddha. This was the last straw; it was time to fight back.

Rising up with a fury, the trio were reborn and The Notorious MSG exploded onto the NYC music scene with a new calling. Once only fighting to defend themselves, they renewed their fight, this time for all their brothers and sisters in the Chinatown ghettos who would never get the chance to realize their dreams

Along with hard raps about Mott Street and sensitive ballads to a certain special Dim Sum Girl, they also bring it on stage where soy sauce is imbibed like a 40 and egg rolls are smoked like a blunt.

Anyway, as Tom Cruise said, "Who's coming with me?!" (Tickets are five bucks. Friends, let me know if you are interested.)

CRYING GAME

I (unintentionally) made my roommate Kristin cry today. I don't know the power of my own narrative.

IGUANA "BOBBITIZED"

(Via) An iguana at a zoo in Brussels had his penis amputated (Guys, did you just cross your legs when you read that?  Because I totally did...and I think I even cried a little) by vets because he was "suffering" from a permanent hard-on.

Zoo officials decided on the operation after keepers called in experts when they saw the iguana was in some discomfort, and having trouble walking because of the permanent erection.

Remedies from cold water to introducing female iguanas into his enclosure all failed and it was decided that an operation was the only solution to the problem.

But losing a schlong is no big deal for this iguana ("Mozart").  Why?  Because male iguanas apparently have two of 'em love making tools.  But, I'd be keeping it realll platonic for awhile if I was that Mozart, now that he's down to his spare tire, so to speak.

LET IT SNOW

This Alaskan is kinda stoked to see it snowing--not that light puny snow, but the big snowflake shit--outside his Brooklyn apartment window right now. But then I'm kinda pissed that it didn't snow on Friday/Saturday before I went snowboarding. Here's the view from my window at the moment:

Okay, maybe not (it's actually from my 'rents house in Alaska), but I'm hoping that's what it'll look like when I wake up in 8 hours.

WHITE PEOPLE THRILLER

(Via) An entire wedding cast reenacts MJ's Thriller or otherwise known as a buncha white people moving along to something that sorta resembles MJ's Thriller music video.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPmYbP0F4Zw&eurl=]

And here's the version from Final Fantasy, which is a little better but that CGI kinda creeps me out a little, but not quite in that uncanny valley way:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZIeuKG2D30]

Lastly, for comparison, here's the timeless original:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT90keJ51bY]

God damn, that MJ was the hot shit back in the day.  This is one of my favoriteist music videos ever.

FLAVOR OF LOVE: MONEY'D GUYS AND HOT GIRLS

I think the people that participate in this event pretty much deserve one another.  There's a speed dating event next week where the requirements for participants are such: Guys, be rich and girls, be hot. How rich? Like a minimum of $200,000 salary (more depending on age), assest over $1 million, and at least a $4 million trust--with documents to back it up.

And the prospective girls must submit 5 photos for 'hotness' review.

Sweet. A killer stock portfolio and glamour shots. That is love.

Check it out here.

LAST THURSDAY'S PARTY

I went to a launch party for YRB Magazine on Thursday night, although to be honest, if it weren't for the open bar, I probably would not have gone. I definitely needed a drink that day after work. Cab ride over to Manor.

I spent the cab ride perfecting the narcissistic art of taking completely unflattering self-portraits. I give this one a 8 out of 10.

Munira showing off her non-engagement ring.

Hey, it's Lauren! It's something about open bars that brings people out.

Chris and his cuz Sophia are like, "YEA! DRINKING! WOOHOO!"

Don't try this at home, kids: Jumping while holding an open container in a crowded bar.

Once the open bar ended and Manor reverted back to its 12 dollar drinks, we all peace'd out, but some decided to do some jumps in the frigid NYC night.

Sophia jumps out of the frame of the photo, while wearing heels. THAT is gangsta.

And then we went to Corner Bistro!

Note the lipstick stain on Cy. Haha.

Water with tomato and fry?

"Yes, please."

The look of pain is because Corner Bistro is SO GOOD. I didn't think I drank very much that night, but apparently I did because when I got home, I peace'd the fuck out and passed out.

WHAT ACTIVITY CAUSED THIS?

My tailbone hurts. My biceps are sore.

My knees ache.

And my thumb joint throbs.

Snowboarding.

It was awesome though. I'm definitely improving with each trip to the mountains and I'm looking forward to pushing myself on the next visit.

LAST WEEK'S PARTY

Just some party pictures. For regular readers, it's about par. While waiting for the subway, we did some jumps. All that's missing in this fierce jump is the air guitar.

I shoulda looked the other way for the subway.

Ben pensively thinking of his flight in 82 hours to South Africa for the next year. (Hope all is well out there, Ben!)

The most frequent Cyrus expression: "Oh. My. God."

Check out the hot 3-Dness of my shirt.

Cy, Viv, and me: None of us were on the same page about the "photo face."

Viv getting her custom Gatorade.

Look at Chris's lame camera. LOSER.

The after party.

INTRODUCING A NEW BLOG

I feel incredibly tardy in posting this, but one of my numero uno supporters (EC) of my blogging alter ego has a fun blog herself. Go check it out here: http://denimondenim.wordpress.com.

J&J

So I've been having a lot of John Mayer related conversations around the apartment with my team. The latest is about his inchoate 'relationship' with Jessica Simpson. When this story first blipped on my radar a while back, I was extremely skeptical. It appears that this non matrimonial union between a sensitive mainstream-indie crooner and ditz-extraordinaire is actually a bonafide situation.

Like most celebrity couples, I'm sure this will all end up badly...but that's okay because these two are artists and will no doubt use the ensuing break up as fodder for new material. In the meantime, I eagerly await John Mayer's ode to Jessica Simpson. The title of this soon to be released song: "Your Body Is The Best Wonderland. Ever. Especially Around The Nipplage Area."

OBAMA O'HELL NO!

Don't try to swiftboat Obama with this madrassa bullshit, because he's going to call you out on it.   And by you, I mean the Right Wing "press."

WE WANT THIS WEEK TO BE OVER SO WE CAN GO...

SNOWBOARDING! I don't know if you can tell by these pictures, but C Low and I (and other co.) are effing STOKED to hit the slopes.

Yea, the neighbors downstairs were totally thrilled with us jumping around in our boots.

P. DIDDY FINDS HIS SEVENTH HEAVEN

Here's Diddy eyeing Jessica Biel's ratatattat's.  Based on this photo, I guess it's apropos that Diddy has double D's in his name.   Can't blame him though, she does look quite stuntastic.

FIRST CAME THE NYPD, THEN 9/11, THEN LOVE.

These two NYPD police officers who fell in love after their valorous efforts on 9/11 got married recently.

Judith Hernandez and Mr. Castro are New York City police officers and, as onetime partners in the department’s housing bureau, they made heroic rescues during the 9/11 attacks.

The searing memory of that day — how they cheated death together, the lives they saved together, and those they could not save — pulled them steadily closer afterward, as did the year of 16-hour days they spent together sifting through the ruins at ground zero. It finally persuaded them to end their police partnership and become partners in marriage.

As great a story as this is, I doubt we'll see it on an episode of Law and Order any time soon.

DOWNLOAD THIS

My new roommate Chris "Cee-Low," in the past couple months has introduced me to a lot of new music, mainly of the whiny, 'my heart's been ripped in two' sort.  And by introduce, I mean force down the proverbial throat.  It's alright though, because its allowed me to find that John Mayer in me that I never knew existed. Anyway, if you want to get in touch with your sensitive side and even maybe cry just a little, you should all download (legally, natch) Rachel Yamagata's "Worn Me Down"--not the radio version, but the more depressing take.