“We are but shrubs, no cedars we.”
- Billy Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus
After hanging out with my friend Rachel this afternoon on the gilded area of Fifth Avenue in Midtown, I came home. On my way to McDonalds to get coffee (don't mock: the coffee there is great, at least at this location), I noticed that a cafe that was being built appeared to be open. People were inside mingling and employees stationed behind the counter. I walked in and something seemed off. I must have looked very confused. A woman behind the counter said nicely to me, "Hi. We're having a private party." Apparently friends and family were celebrating the soon-to-open cafe and the three co-owners. She, one of the owners, offered me a glass of wine, I nibbled on some of the food, and was thoroughly impressed with the cafe. Also, she pointed out that they also had Clover coffee machine, a $11,000 coffee maker, that the New York Times recently featured. Anyway, if you live in Park Slope, check out 3B (I think that's how it's spelled) in a week or two on 4th Avenue and Carroll Street.
Damn the "Related Videos" feature of YouTube for wasting endless amounts of my time by leading me to clips, such as this one from the Blade TV series that left me pretty speechless. I'm not a vampire-phile or a fan of this genre and its ilk, so I don't know for SURE whether this particular method, as seen in the clip, of disabling a vampire has been done before, but I've certainly never seen it. I do have to admit, it would be a pretty damn effective way of depriving a vampire of its most valuable, effective, and dangerous weapon. [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=-awyE7JtX8A]
I've been meaning to do it, but just haven't gotten around to it. Both the tied and untied look. Just don't do Jager shots while wearing one. Or on second thought, do Jager shots while wearing them. [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=VJv4Qh7zR3E]
vod writes:
hi, If you want to act, you have to devote yourself to it. Send out letters and photos every day, work all the hours under the sun, whatever it takes. If you’re not determined, you won’t get anywhere.
Thanks bud, er, vod. I'm trying my best. Things are slowly but surely improving. At points it feels like a one step forward and two steps back kind of a thing, but sometimes I've been having the 5 steps forward kind of days.
Friday night was a combination of something new and something old, which both equaled fun in the end. And that's all that matters. Despite the torrential rain storm, Chris and I still rallied and headed over to the Knitting Factory for some live music and endless bottles of free Bass Ale. While waiting in the short line to confirm our RSVP and go inside, I ran into an old college buddy of mine who I haven't seen since then. He had just finished performing and was on his way out. He's an amazing musician who is making the permanent move to NYC from Providence soon so I'm looking forward to catching some of his shows in the future. The first act was terrible, but the second band was amazing. Not my cup of tea, but they just put on a rockin' good show. Afterwards, we met up with some of Chris's friends at some terrible hookah place near NYU. Nonetheless I still had a great time there. Eventually came home and passed out.
Saturday night was an A+ night, right up until I came home and needed to do a prayer while kneeling in front of the toilet. Allegedly. These few photos below were taken by my friend there at the party. I did chuckle when I got to the club, a place I had never been to previously. I laughed because I used to live about five buildings away from this club, or rather this location back in 2003, and always saw the most D list crowds outside of whatever club opened in this space. I think it went through four different clubs before its current iteration. If I had to do word association for it, the first thing that'd pop into my head is, "Miami Vice."
Nnamdi, Chris, and John keeping it real, and by real I mean "not smiling."
Unlike the photo previous to this one, it's all about the smiles. (Jeff, Nnamdi, and Lauren)
I call this photo that Nnamdi took, "Juxtaposition." The thing that cracks me up about the pictures from this night is how serious Chris looks in all the photos, when he was actually just so happy all night. Guess the camera adds 10 pounds for some and seriousness for others.
Just raising the glass for the birthday girl. Look at the guy on the right in the black shirt just hatin'. Just hatin'!
Jeff and Lucy the birthday girl (If you ever randomly read this: Thanks for such a rockin' party Lucy!).
Take one. "Matt, you are blocking what people really want to see" says the male and sapphic customers of mrod.wordpress.com
Take two. Better? Sheesh. Lauren and Lucy looking like the h07ne55.
My twin brother showed up and made fool of himself. I don't condone such behavior because I usually like to just sip scotch and discuss the feasibility of the supposed power sharing that is suppose to take place in Russia in the post-Putin era, but theoretically I can see why attractive women dancing on tables is a good thing.
Put your hands up in the air, put your hands up in the air.
Like I said, put your hands up in the air, put your hands up in the air.
"Sometimes you just gotta cool your self by alternating between a very FULL glass of black label and a bottle of Fiji water."
"Yea thanks to all the hustlers, and most important to YOU, the customer."
Then we went to Ktown, got too much food, and Jeff gave the leftovers to a nearby table of drunk kids eating who thanked him for the food without a second thought.
[Am I the only one that finds these segments hysterical and interesting?] Me: gallor?
Me: what's gallor?
K: gallor
K: shit...i'm spelling it wrong
K: Galore
K: i'm an idiot
Me: what's your job title?
K: lol
K: Associate Editor
So I know everyone's heard at this point (bonus points to Kaizar for the head's up) about New York Gov. Spitzer's love for the ladies of the night who practice the world's oldest profession.
For sheer political theatrics this brewing full blown scandal is awesome! I can't convey my excitement at seeing tomorrow's headlines tomorrow, especially in the New York Post and the competing Daily News!!! I may even fork over the 25 cents to buy the Post for keepsakes. You know, right now (it's 10 pm Monday as I write this) everyone in the newsrooms is sitting around the conference room trying to come up with the best pun headline outside of the "spits" or that uhm, other option.
I don't know what the big deal is, I mean, this story is pretty much just like that movie all you saps love called Pretty Woman. Maybe the only story here and the only crime is the crime of love: Governor Spitzer fell in love with a woman who happened to be an escort. He paid only because say, you fell in love with the cashier at Subway. You don't expect her to give you that footlong Italian BMT for free do you? No, you pay for that sandwich, especially if the sandwich is really tasty.
I'll let you photoshop Spitzer's face onto Richard Gere in this movie poster.
Chris and I had a roundtable discussion about this. The following question was asked.
Me: As a movie, this story would be great. Who'd you cast for the role of the governor?
Chris: Mark Anthony.
"Call me Number 9. I shall call you Number 6!"
Who would you like to see play the role of Spitzer the Cleveland Steamroller?
Update: Here's the NY Post's headline. Trashy and brilliant as always.
Interesting choice of two words (nailed and shock) in the first bullet point subheadline...
Improv Everywhere, the same people that brought you the recent "frozen in time" spectacle in Grand Central Terminal in New York City (which was rapidly copy-cat'ed around the world) staged a musical in a crowded food court at a mall in LA. Check out their website for other great past improv coups. Relatedly
An improv group at Columbia University years back did a similar thing, except instead of a mall, they used the obvious settings of Butler library (ahh, Butler how I don't miss the nasty smell of the 4th floor study room and your insanely crowds during midterms and finals) and a lecture.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=3SwhzFsuvQc]
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=-mUyvaPtsJw]
These satellite images of approximately 10,000 plus people fleeing Chad's capital and into neighboring Cameroon are sobering to say the least. The black dots denote people and the yellow shapes vehicles. Although taken with the unflinching eye of a satellite, it's interesting that, to me, these photos have as much impact as the up close and personal photographs taken by photo journalists on the scene. Will we as a species ever overcome the sort of hate, distrust, and misunderstandings that underpins and guides this mass scale violence? I just don't know.
Chris, when not listening to John Mayer in his room, sent me this YouTube link of the inmates in a penitentiary in the Philippines--who gained Internet fame after a video of their mass synchronized Thriller dance hit YouTube (and predictably I blogged about it awhile ago)--doing Soulja Boy and U Can't Touch This: [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yYp2Aloz-uE&feature=bz302]
What ever happened to the slow dance at clubs? You know, slowing it down for the ladies and putting your arms around her and dancing around in circles? The last time I saw anything resembling this was a girl in a black mini dress dancing with her left leg up around my friend's waist as he held her leg. In other words, keeping it classy and respectable. Relatedly
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=_puP6zFSnvs]
B: I think I'm going to that bar with the mechanical bull... Me: Are you going to get on it?
B: NO!
Me: What if I paid you?
B: NO! ...Also, no guy should be good at riding a mechanical bull.
I haven't been to a party held above 14th Street in...months. Tonight: Nikki - Midtown. Prediction: Really awesome or really terrible.
Post party update:
Decision: Really awesome.
So hungover this a.m. Why?
Explanation: 3 bottles of Goose, 3 bottles of champagne, 1 bottle of Petron, and 1 bottle of Jack. And Koreatown post-drinking food isn't the best idea after all the above.
R Kelly approves of what this monkey is doing. The rest of decent society, both human and animal kingdom, do not.
You know there is at least one person out there in this world who gets off on this.It finally stopped raining after two days of ceaseless downpour. The perpetual overcast and darkness of the past two days is clearing and more and more patches of blue appear in the sky. I'm lying here in my bed looking out the window and I see the setting sun--sun at last!--shining through the scattering clouds. As the storm departs, this sight is really beautiful and peaceful to me. I feel a sense of tranquility watching the low floating clouds swiftly race across the sky as the sun casts a bright frame around their ephemeral bodies. If I climb to my building's rooftop and stood on the tips of my toes, I think maybe, just maybe, I could reach up and touch them as they glide by. Of course, because this is New York City after all, half of this view from my window is blocked by a tall condo being built next block over. Goodbye rainstorm. We hardly knew ye. Thanks for waking me up this morning with the loud crack and boom of thunder.
Update: Apparently the calm was just a temporary reprieve.
It is currently raining and windy like a $%*&.
Don't ask me to document the process that led me to viewing this YouTube video. I'll just say that this afternoon has been a big nerdathon with a party of one. Anyway, it's pretty cool to see the choreography and shoot of the big fight scene in the Bourne Ultimatum between Jason Bourne and the "asset" Dash. But the only reason this video makes the Mrod cut is because of the last ten seconds of the segment. Who knew Jason Bourne and Ahnold Swhargshergar had something in common? [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNIMnRnJbFo]
RELATEDLY
Jason Bourne can also do a spot on impression of Matthew McConaughey:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuYD2cwMbpw]
And when he's not fighting bad guys, robbing casinos, and working for the CIA, he is fucking Sarah Silverman:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnVJZkDuVBM]
