While waiting for a friend in Union Square I spotted the laziest dog walker ever:
A Segway looks questionable as it is...but a fake Segway? Even worse. Terrible look for this guy. Just walk your damn dog.
The following quip has been attributed to former British Chancellor Dennis Healey who is believed to have said:
There are three things in life you should never believe: yes, I will still love you in the morning; the cheque is in the post; and hello, I’m a politician and I’m here to help.
Man, ain't that the truth.
Previously. On day 4, I decided to check out the San Francisco zoo. Afterwards, we went to Union Square, followed by an amazing Pakistani dinner. And then on our way home, we ran into a ridiculous rave out in the streets where I recorded a couple videos. Warning: Lots of photos below.
Before heading to the subway, Kaizar made me buy a Slurpee at the 7-11 near his apartment. I got half-Coke and half-Cherry. It tasted like half-vomit and half-cough syrup. In other words, 100 percent disgusting.
Kaizar loved his though.
The zoo is on the last stop of the line, on which the train midway emerges from the underground and runs above track. During the ride, I noticed this signage stating "Simply the best!" It instantly reminded me of this scene from the BBC The Office where David Brent tries to be a motivational speaker, especially around the 3:30 mark:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NppcT5IcUA4]
Finally arrived at the zoo--starting with these flamingos.
Damn that's a lot of flamingos. But you may be wondering, "Why are these birds pink?"
Bam! Question answered with some knowledge and a Sharpie.
SHHHH.
Don't call kangaroos "bears" you ignorant asses!
Man, this bear was so cute. All sleepy and shit.
Here's another sleepy bear. Not sure why the one above is locked up behind glass while the other one gets to be outside chillin'. Don't seem fair if ya ask me. You know how that guy in Alaska lived with grizzly bears until they turned on him and ate him up? Well, he was an idiot. He should have been chillin' with these bears instead. It'd be like hanging out with the muppets or something.
More bears.
I was trying to be artsy here, but instead all I got was this photo of pine tree plant things that are a dime a dozen. I wish these kangaroos would have boxed or something. Then I would have had something to photograph.
AH, lookee here! A RARE WILD SPECIES. I think it's a DINOSAUR. Sarah Palin and I think they are still around. Or something.
This kangaroo is mad constipated. Ex-lax stat, zookeeper!
Kid and a peacock poster.
Nothing shouts "human interference in natural habitats" like a fucking tooting train with loud kids and their over adoring parents screaming through the zoo.
A polar bear...wondering why he is so fucking hot.
Nothing says a zoo is on a tight budget quite like plastic garbage cans and four square bouncy balls masquerading as "interactive" tools. Here's an idea: Give that polar bear a FUCKING SEAL or two to toss about. Or how about this: SOME ICE.
No wonder it's all messed up in there. Can't trust the Feds for anything except to collect my taxes and bailout irresponsible finance and insurance firms.
Interesting sartorial choice. Of course I'm going to take a picture. If I wore the native costume of my homeland, Korea, to the SF zoo then I won't be surprised if people want to take a picture of my skinny ass wearing a hanbok aka where Hammer pants first came from.
More bears.
Come on bear. Do something. Go eat a misguided and troubled naturalist. Just kidding.
Come on buddy. Give me a fist pound.
Mama or Papa Bear.
Aaaarrrr!
Hahahahaha. I am 12.
This deer thing was mad friendly. Questionably friendly.
Right after this picture was taken, Sarah Palin popped up and blasted it in the face with a shotgun and yelled "YEEHAH! I GOT ME SOME DINNER! USA!"
Tiger.
Tiger yawning.
People love these tigers.
Lions.
This thing was pretty sweet. Probably one of the cooler looking animals there.
Another angle.
It's a giant eland.
Kaizar crossing the line.
An otter. Man, these suckers glide like knife through butter. Mmm butter...
Poor Rhino. This thing didn't look too happy... :(
Penguins chilling. I wish they would have danced like in Happy Feet which I may or may not have seen. But you are probably wondering, "Shouldn't these penguins be in a cold place?"
NO!
Unfortunately we arrived at the zoo after the feeding. Darn.
An allegory of Obama's vision: where all creatures great and small coexist peacefully.
They all look so content. Haha.
Yech.
Kaizar martyring himself for the animals. And then he realized that he had a conference call in a few hours, so he got up and off the train tracks.
Cub tigers. Pretty cute animals actually.
But the whole cage was depressing...
Kids harassing a peacock that sorta just roamed the grounds of the zoo.
The zoo had this pretty nice area area that attempts to mimic the African savanna, although this sign is REALLY stretching the truth with the whole "San Francisco's climate is similar" thing. If by similar, you mean NOT AT ALL, then yes, it is similar.
Savanna =/= San Francisco
The well manicured grass of the African savanna. Where are its denizens?
Oh, right. INSIDE.
Giraffes are pretty cool. Tough to hate on 'em.
"Yonder!"
Prey be THAT way!
Again, this dang peacock.
Test your gorilla knowledge with this quiz that doesn't let you know whether your answers were correct or not. Argh! Why must you torment me so?! I must know the answers!!
After the zoo we headed over to Union Square. On our way, we the famous trolleys. The line for this was stupid, so I skipped it, although a big part of me wanted to catch this thing mid-sprint.
Union Square...
I forgot what the Lonely Planet guide said about this thing in Union Square.
This public space brought to you by...MACY'S!
We were starving and after seeing all those animals at the zoo, I knew that I wanted a hearty meat-lovers dinner. On our way to this amazing Pakistani restaurant, we passed by this restaurant. The original perfect hamburger American & Chinese cuisine. It was tough to say no to that!
I realize this doesn't look appetizing but believe you me: it was delicious.
After dinner, we walked off the food by heading over to the City Hall area. During our approach, we started hearing some thumping bass music.
And we noticed this crowd...
What is going on...?
It's a freaking RAVE! In front of City Hall. Later on, Kaizar found out that it was some voter registration drive. Haha.
[flickr video=http://flickr.com/photos/83466411@N00/2867467508/] Rave video 1
[flickr video=http://flickr.com/photos/83466411@N00/2867485592] Rave video 2
Kaizar ran into one of my friends there. Haha. This guy was a character: He had a court appearance there the next day as the lead defendant in a class action lawsuit against TransAmerica.
Hmmm, should I get my rave on?
YES I WILL.
Haha.
Taking one of the old thyme buses back to the apartment.
And then I freaked when I saw this old man. I don't know if any of you Columbia University readers recognize him, but I used to see him at Butler Library practically everyday. He would sit primarily in the lounge by the cafe with a huge stack of dusty old books.
And then I was so exhausted from such a busy day that I passed out when I got back to the apartment.
The End.
Here's a (nicely designed) website devoted to...typographic jokes and such. All you creatives will probably love it. Or not. I don't know. I like it though.
Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?Q: What did the 0 say to the 8? A: Nice belt.
Q: What typeface do fish fear most? A: Gill Sans.
HAHAHA. Gill Sans. Hah!
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French prankster Remi Gaillard, dressed in a full kangaroo costume, bounces around and proceeds to piss off everyone to the tune of go-go-go ska. The one with the golfer is pretty fucking hilarious. Mean, but hilarious. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0aIQxbPmCw]
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I don't know who the artist is behind this piece that Simko posted on her ever designlicious blog (Ashley, maybe you can enlighten?), but what I do know is that I like it.
Relatedly
There's also this:
The US won the 2008 Ryder Cup, a golf match between European and American teams, for the first time in 9 years thanks in large part to its rookies, particularly Korean American golfer and LA native Anthony Kim who got the tournament off on the right foot for Americans by unnerving and beating Sergio Garcia.
Indeed, it was Kim who dominated perhaps the most feared European player, defeating García, 5 and 4. García was clearly demoralized and out of the match early, and with players from the other teams watching on television as they waited to tee off, García’s slumped shoulders and desperate scowls served to bolster the Americans.
Kim declined to concede a couple of short García putts in the opening holes, which seemed to irk García, who then hit consecutive shots in the water fronting the seventh hole. On the 11th green, he missed a crucial 2-foot putt as Kim watched nearby.
Read more here.
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The LHC or the Large Hadron Collider is experiencing some problems. Due to a recent helium leak it'll be out of service for two months.
The leak means that the LHC will be down for at least two months, because workers must now warm up the faulty sector of the tunnel in order to repair it. The liquid helium is used to cool the LHC's magnets -- which guide protons and accelerate them so they can be smashed together -- down to within 1.9 kelvins (3.4 degrees Fahrenheit) of absolute zero.
Read more here.
Yes, you got me. The point of this entire entry was so I could post my sophmoric double entendre headline.
Despite the turmoil in Wall Street and the national economic distress, a few acclaimed chefs wants to introduce three epic dining event, starting November 11 at Per Se, featuring 20-course dinners that will cost $1,500 per person (seating limited to 65 people at each dinner).
This fall Sir Thomas Keller and culinary whiz kid Grant Achatz will join together to host three 20-course dinners at Per Se, Alinea, and The French Laundry. Each chef will prepare ten alternating courses, "creating a tasting menu that spans the very best of their creations while honoring a 12-year relationship that has defined 3 of the very best restaurants in the world."
If your life is fucking awesome, I mean, really fucking awesome, like you shit money, and you are dating Megan Fox and having more sex than you know what to do with, then swing by this website for more information on dates and reservations. And then afterwards let me know how it feels to be a GOD.
Someone placed a McCain/Palin sticker on a Metropolitan Transportation Authority Police Department cart parked inside Penn Station. After the MTA was notified by the Times, it was promptly removed as "authority employees are prohibited from using M.T.A. property to disseminate political opinion."
What I find interesting about this is that this bumper sticker was placed on the inarguably the most emasculating, effete vehicle in the police force. I mean, it's called a cart. It's all style and no substance. It's meant to give an impression of presence in a busy and crowded train terminal, but really it is merely an unused trophy kept behind velvet red ropes. It's nothing but lipstick on a pig, kind of like what the McCain campaign has presented to America: We give you something pretty and distracting to look at and hope no one notices that it doesn't do anything.
The search engines MSN, Google, and Yahoo! go head to head and rap battle for supremacy. This is what Eminem gave birth to: Guys in blue tights and on Segways rapping about search results. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w688s-AURE]
What would SouljaBoy say about this I wonder?
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What happens when the redneck owner, Chester Nelly decides to be in a commercial advertising his company's beer? The outtakes suggests that said owner will offend EVERYBODY, especially as he drinks more and more in between and during takes. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFPsaxdzyAQ]
Terrible. Haha.
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Watch this short clip of Rhode Island Senator Sheldon Whitehouse painting a succinct picture of the larger issues and problems facing Americans today and what that suggests about off-shore oil drilling aka the political red herring. The silence from drill, baby, drill advocates is deafening. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnJAIeEgjSM]
Three good things about Rhode Island: Brown University, Spike's, and Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse.
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The first snapshots of the upcoming new Google powered cell phone has been leaked onto the Internets.
Its got an iPhone/Sidekick thing going on.
While T-Mobile and AT&T are doing exciting things to broaden their catalog of phones, I'm glad to see that my provider, Verizon is sticking to its guns and providing a nice craptastic selection of cell phones. Note sarcasm.
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I was pretty shocked to hear about the recent tragic airplane crash that killed four and critically injured DJ AM and drummer Travis Barker. I had previously highlighted their creative collaboration.
Amazingly at the moment, despite bad burns and injuries, a full recovery for both are expected. This accident however does give their song "Fix Your Face" which also samples Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," a particularly portentous and ominous undertone.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQC08SmXduw]
Wishing those guys the best recovery.
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Previously. On day 3, I hope up early, er, around 10ish probably. I Interneted for awhile and then got ready for a bike tour around San Francisco. Afterwards we hit up Chinatown for dinner and then to a loungey club.
Kaizar's fancy bicycling shoes...
And my fancy bicycling shoes.
I seriously have not biked-biked since...college so I was slightly apprehensive. Good thing I had an awesome helmet. The hoodie over the helmet was my extra touch.
We rode by this museum. I actually did not go in because Kaizar the biking nazi wouldn't let me. "WE MUST BIKE MORE" he said. "Fine. Sheesh." I said.
After a nice moderately long ride, WE FUCKING MADE IT! WATER-HOOOOOO! I raise my bike triumphantly! I didn't die. San Francisco drivers: Ya'll a buncha pussies; New York drivers woulda definitely killed me.
We made it to the ocean. It looks...like the ocean on the East Coast. Oh well.
My alien head observing the beach.
Me and the Navigator.
Kaizar with his matching shiny silver helmet and shoes.
You heard me. Shiny fucking helmet...that's very lopsided.
Random windmill near the beach.
And then we biked by this farm where they harvest these animals, grind them up, and served in restaurants as "vegetarian meatballs that taste just like the real thing!"
Its backside. I know ONE of you is looking at this photo and getting excited. STOP IT. Deviant.
Kaizar's neighborhood subway stop. After a tiring ride and some resting at his apartment, we headed back out to Chinatown for dinner.
The Equinox in San Francisco is...very...grand.
We yelp'd to find a good restaurant in Chinatown and it recommended this one. We arrived and saw that it was filled with white people. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But the Chinese restaurant next to it was also decently crowded with...Chinese people. So we chose the latter.
The leftovers. By the looks of this photo it looks like a bunch of 8 year old kids who don't like their vegetables ate here. No love for the broccoli apparently, which I blame solely on Akash as he is the resident vegetarian.
Haha. Kaizar got his I WILL KILL YOU look going on.
Akash is eating...just not broccoli.
Kaizar, Akash and I before we head out into the SF night. Where will it take us? At the time I knew not where.
P.S. Oh yea, they only brought out two fortune cookies. Hahaha.
While walking we came across this bus stop advertisement for the local zoo. Haha.
An antelope busting out a pained blue steele. Haha.
Akash is roadkill antelope (I think?).
James is affable antelope.
A sleeping security guard dreaming sweet dreams of Federal bailouts probably.
Me and Akash hetero-ally sharing one comfortable seat. It's fine.
The people for the night.
And then we hit the dance floor. Word to your mom.
AGAIN with the middler finger thing. SO RUDE. I really need to stop it. I apologize to you. And your mom.
What. The. Fuck. That girl was NOT with us and I don't recall seeing her at all. This is what happens when the camera is surrendered to amateurs. Horror is produced. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice and decent lady, but this is not flattering to that chick in the patterned outfit.
Yea, I got a haircut before I came out to SF.
Haha.
It doesn't look like any of us are having any fun.
A cheerful middle finger raised. I must stop.
I CAN'T STOP. I HAD to ruin this picture after I heard Kaizar say, "Here take a photo of JUST ME" and then he busts out this Crest Cheese Smile. I'm SORRY KAIZAR for ruining your photo!
After we left the lounge, we passed the same bank and saw a NEW security guard. This really excited me and Akash especially.
And we passed the same bus ad and made the girls get their photos taken with it.
She was not happy about this.
Sidewalk art.
The End.