Charles Darwin's Approach to Getting Married

Before marrying Emma Wedgwood in 1839, Charles Darwin first logically listed a pros and cons list of marriage.

Using his trademark rationality, Darwin made two columns: “Marry” and “Not Marry.”

In the ”Marry” column, he entered things like: “Home and someone to take care of house—Charms of music and female chit-chat. These things good for one’s health.” In the “Not Marry” column was: “Freedom to go where one liked—Choice of Society and little of it. Conversations of clever men at clubs. Not forced to visit relatives, and to bend to every little trifle.”

Balls Dropping

Procrastinate with this line-drawn physics game. Turn your speakers on for full effect.

The XX, VCR

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2eO_mNM88] Love this song and video.

Kama Sutra Soundtrack

These are some aggressive notes. Click on image to, no pun intended, enlarge.

Pencey Prep Merchandise

I doubt if this is authorized by the Salinger estate, but wear your allegiance to Holden's fictional alma mater proudly with this Pencey Prep t-shirt. A sweet elbow-patched sweatshirt is also available. Buy here.

Idiots Price Our Devices

When the iPod was first introduced in 2001, many people thought "it was over-priced and under-powered." Critics came up with clever acronyms for it:

Idiots price our devices.

I'd Prefer Owning Discs.

I Prefer Other Devices

Who's the idiot today? I bet a lot of these "experts" wish today they were clever enough to purchase some AAPL stocks that year.

Scene in New York

I found Lucifer's quaint pied-à-terre while running some errands in Park Slope.

Driving in Circles

A humorous public installation by Michel de Broin.

Its ironic system absurdly redirects traffic into a never-ending circuit on a road to nowhere, thus undermining the usual objective of maximum practicability in urban design and planning.

The Search for the Best Bottom in the World

Marketing genius Dov Charney is searching for the best tail in the world to be the new "face" for his company American Apparel's growing line of intimates. Get further analysis of this promotion here.

Procrastination

Interactive Internet: Lines Go All Over The Place.

1959 Chevrolet Bel Air Versus 2009 Chevrolet Malibu

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joMK1WZjP7g] A 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air and a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu go head to head in this crash test.

Time Traveler's Cheat Sheet

So you accidentally fall into a time warp and get stuck back in the Dark Ages. Once you get over how much that sucked, you're then unsure how to return. So you try to make the best of your situation, which includes getting some medieval tail from that chambermaid, her lack of dentistry work notwithstanding. You need to impress her. You sure as hell don't want to battle some armored asshole in a jousting match to get her attention. Missing teeth, a lance up your ass, and a horse hoof stamped on your forehead ain't so sexy, even in the Middle Ages. So whats a future player like you gots to do? Easy. Like Martin Lawrence in The Black Knight, unleash your knowledge from The Future! But really, do you know how to do anything without access to a computer and Google? Do you know how to pasteurize milk? Put together an electromagnet? Create electricity? Or even a radio? Do you know how to make a compass? What about a clock?

How do you get rid of that annoying "doctor" trying to c-block you from the chambermaid by casting doubt on your futuristic awesomeness and sex appeal? You drop the I CREATED PENICILLIN BOMB in his face. Imagine if you saved the life of the king's heir with this suff. YOU WOULD RULE THAT SHIT. But, do you know how to make penicillin? Hold up. Lets go one step further: Imagine getting rid of small pox, you know, that thing that only killed your sweet chambermaid's entire family, thanks to your vaccination educating dopeness.

You know what used to be more valuable than gold back in this era when the white man rode the short school bus? ALUMINUM. Did you hear that? That was the sound of knowledge being dropped, son. Imagine being able to know how to make aluminum and then, just because you're bored, creating an aluminum suit and strolling around the village in it. King Midas would be calling YOU KING MIDAS. But you probably don't know the first step towards creating aluminum.

Or explode the collective minds of everyone around you by demonstrating the miracle of FLIGHT. FLYING.

Well, here's a cheat sheet by Ryan North listing the fundamentals on how to do all this stuff. Print it and keep it in your wallet just in case you ever get sent back in time. You'll know if this happened to me because your history books would be educating you about the Great MRod Age of Futuristic Awesomeness.

In Forest Hills

I know this has been around for eternity in IT (Internet Time), but watch this great parody by comedian Billy Eichner of Jay Z and Alicia Keys' anthem "Empire State of Mind." While Hova boasts the greatness of New York City, Eichner with a guest appearance by SNL-alum Rachel Dratch (where the cuss did she disappear to?) proclaims the superiority of a specific neighborhood and religion. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nS5QyNC24w]

The Michelberger

Swoon! The Michelberger in East Berlin has a casual yet modern vibe. I'd like to stay in this hotel if when I visit this city. Hotel marquee.

Do not disturb door hanger.

Room access keys.

Ryan Howard's Photoblog

Explicit? Indecent? Erotic? Or commentary about the way in which women are treated in the workplace? Here's a woman, hard at work, pulled herself up by the bootstraps despite her ethnic heritage, but all you see is that she's topless. It's sad, but the saddest part is that the woman was willing to pose for this photograph without a single question as to the artist's intent. What happened to integrity?

The character Ryan from The Office has an active photo mock-blog where he posts sophmoric black and white "artsy" photos with accompanying context (see above), as well as his responses to comments and (often bleak) critiques of photos submitted by readers. It's amazing.

Caption This!

[Via]

SNL Digital Short Spoof

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J4RhJYLAk0] This spoof of Adam Sandberg and his digital shorts on SNL is pretty spot on. Adam should hire these guys so they can collaborate on a new digital short about spoofing a spoof of Adam Sandberg spoofing a spoof of a spoof of a digital short.

[Via]

"There's very little actual football in a football game."

A recent Wall Street Journal article concluded that there isn't that much actual action taking place during a NFL game:

The average amount of time the ball is in play on the field during an NFL game is about 11 minutes...barely enough time to prepare a hard-boiled egg.

[Via]

Paco Pomet

Ever since Sesame Street downgraded his cookie consumption allowance, the Cookie Monster has been acting out a bit. Painting of Cookie Monster running wild by Paco Pomet.

Birthday Dinner

My friends took me out to my favorite restaurant in New York City (Peter Luger) for a memorable birthday celebration dinner. As I tweeted, the conversation ranged from G for geek to R for reeediculous to X for Xtremely hilarious. And my stomach hurt afterwards, but I wasn't sure if this was from eating or laughing too much.