William Stone succinctly titled this piece "Black Bucket Seat." Sounds about right. This purchase will be a tough sell to my accountant and parents.
Uncomfortable Plot Summaries lists slightly different interpretation of famous plots.
- BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
- BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
- DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
- DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
- GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
- GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
- GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
- KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
- LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
- ROCKY: White man beats black man.
- STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
- TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.
Let me try.
UP: Octogenarian kidnaps and flees country with child.
I got lost on the Internet and ended up on the corner of Wikipedia and "Tetsuo: The Iron Man" aka the most insane movie plot I've ever encountered. The sequel is nuts too. Relatedly: Here is The Morning News' list of 16 mindfuck movies, including one that I've always wanted to see, "Primer," which was made on a shoestring budget of only $7,000.
Sebastian Speier made the following keen observation about George Costanza:
The Atlantic Monthly on how to properly use knives in the kitchen.
The first element to avoiding your blade is keeping it in your hand. As Fleisher's Aaron Lenz describes it, you should hold your knife like the butt of a pistol, fingers wrapped tightly around the grip "like someone was trying to take it away from you." Some people hold a boning knife like a conductor's baton during a particularly slow part of Pachelbel's Canon. This is wrong. You will either drop your knife through your fingers, causing you to cut your knife hand with your knife, or, more likely, lose track of it in your brain's motor control center and cut the hand holding the meat.
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Scott Ashley's "The Apology."
If Saul Bass (previously) created the intro to hit TV show Lost, it might look something like this. [vimeo=http://vimeo.com/6660925]
I Am Not An Artist is a junkyard of creative GIF files or otherwise self-described as "an animated GIF paranoia about nonstop design workers." [Hat tip: Rolando!]
Here's the one Downfall parody to rule all other Downfall parodies as they fall by the digital wayside at the hands of the DMCA notices and a compliant Google. If Hitler gets it, then why can't movie studios? LET THIS MEME LIVE!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBO5dh9qrIQ]
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On Monday night I went to Brooklyn Bowl for some Blue Ribbon fried chicken dinner followed by a Snoop Dogg concert. Because he got started so late, we ended up ringing in April 20th aka 420 fittingly with Snoop. He performed a bunch of his old classics. Couple videos below. [vimeo=http://vimeo.com/11078203] Crowd went wild for Gin and Juice.
[vimeo=http://vimeo.com/11078096] Remember when you couldn't escape this song?
You know who is liking the show? This guy:
Living in New York City I appreciate the tourists who come and visit. I appreciate the excitement, enthusiasm, and dollars they bring here. That said, having worked the past couple years near two major tourist destinations (Macy's and now right next to the World Trade Center construction pit), sometimes I wouldn't mind separate pedestrian lanes, especially when I'm just trying to grab a quick lunch or head home.
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[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdJcYTh1rP0] All dogs will go sledding like this in my superior vision of heaven.
Seriously, watch this. If you're having a crappy day and saying to me that you are too busy to waste your time with this, then I say to you that's all the more reason to watch it! And to the ONE YouTube viewer who gave it a thumbs down, you're going to hell where you'll be forced to watch this video for eternity. Oh wait, on second thought that sounds like heaven now to me. I'm confused.
Will my rich anonymous benefactor please gift me a large scale c-print of this piece "Yes To All" by Sylvie Fleury?
William Stone's "See Saw Seen."
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A popular children's book titled "Tops and Bottoms?" With a bear in that position? And a rabbit with that creepy grin? Really???
I don't know what else to say about this photo of Michael Jackson, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and a man with an oxygen tank all hanging out together other than "...".
Milk and Mode aka Carol Han's photo gallery of some celebrity future wifeys such as Kate Bosworth, Kelly Osbourne, Alessandra Ambrosia, and Rachel Bilson at this year's Coachella music festival.
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[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwPoqd3t2wE] This video was uploaded yesterday on YouTube and it already has over 1.5 million views. The goal is nuts and quite fancy.