Just copying and pasting this one.
Here’s how Hipster Hell works. You go to the digital jukebox and proceed to pick songs designed to drive hipsters insane. Remember, anything liked by a lot of people can’t possibly be good in the mind of a hipster, so go for songs as popular as possible. For example here’s my top 20 Hipster Hell playlist:
- “Crazy” by Britney Spears
- “Native New Yorker” by Odyssey
- “Knockin’ Boots” by Candyman
- “Vibe” by R. Kelly and Public Announcement
- “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel
- “Idioteque” by Radiohead (to give them a glimmer of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel if you will)
- “We Built This City” by Starship (to cruelly yank them back into the 7th circle of Hell)
- “Vogue” by Madonna
- Any song by a Disney Channel alumnus, take your pick (for example Raven Symone, Lindsey Lohan, Jonas Brothers or Hillary Duff)
- “Addams Groove” by MC Hammer
- “Rush Rush” by Paula Abdul
- “Hanging Tough” by New Kids on the Block
- “MMMBop” by Hanson
- “Pump Up the Jam” by Technotronic
- “Now That We Found Love” by Heavy D. and the Boys
- “Mambo No. 5″ by Lou Bega
- “Physical” by Olivia Newton-John
- “Barbie Girl” by Aqua
- “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston
- “Zombie Nation” by Kernkraft 400
Bonus tracks:
- “I Write the Songs” by Barry Manilow
- Anything by The Strokes
Pay the extra money to get all these songs bumped to the front of the queue. The beauty of this selection is that for the first song or two, the hipsters will actually be into it and enjoy it, thinking that the songs are being played for the sake of irony. By the third or fourth song, they start figuring out that something’s wrong. By the fifth, they start becoming vocally upset. Critical mass tends to hit “MMMBop.” It gets really ugly by the time the first note of Whitney Houston hits.
Sounds amusing--the transition after the hopeful Radiohead is especially evilly funny--except it sort of seems like EVERYONE loses at the bar.
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