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The ever hysterical Dan received as a belated Christmas present one old breast implant given to him by one of his friends who upgraded to a new set. I wonder which lucky individual received the other one...
Now he's asking his friends and readers what he should do with it. I think he should regift it.
Read more here.
Although bringing no respite from the recent early summer heat wave, over the past few days New York City has experienced a couple brilliant but short thunderstorms. My friend Paul took some great photographs of them from his rooftop (maybe not the safest thing to do in the world...). These are a few of my favorites:
View more here.
[Thanks Paul!]
One of the baby pigs at a UK sausage company arrived with a bad case of mysophobia--a fear of dirt.
Owners Debbie and Andrew Keeble were at a loss, until they remembered the four miniature wellies used as pen and pencil holders in their office. They slipped them on the piglet's feet - and into the mud she happily ploughed.
Just way too much cuteness ensued as this photo demonstrates:
It's so freakin' cute, I just want to chop it up and devour it with a nice omelette.
Read more here.
A Washington state resident was upset to discover on an excursion to Urban Outfitters to buy clothing for her teenage son they also sold "sexually charged books" there. I think the bigger crime is that she was buying her son clothing from Urban Outfitters. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. And preaching overly-protective parents isn't really news. What's news is when the last name of the mom in question is "MILFS."
Milfs was so appalled that she is preparing to file a complaint with the city of Lynnwood, and has already aired her frustrations to State Rep. Norma Smith, R-Clinton, and organizations including Morality in Media, Concerned Women of America and the American Family Association.She also called Urban Outfitters' corporate office in Philadelphia.
"They said they are not sex books or pornography books, but that they are art books and their goals are to support artists," Milfs said.
Urban Outfitters declined to comment on Milfs' concerns.
Read more here.
A lighthearted moment from this year's 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee involving the eventual winner of the event as he mishears the word and thinks he is being asked to spell "numbnut." [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjzrNWPul9E]
The New York Times has this great interactive and pretty captivating graphic that breaks down the demographic of Clinton and Obama supporters. To be Captain Obvious for a moment: the data that the graphic interprets suggests that gender, class, and especially race mattered strongly and had a substantive impact on how people voted. I'm not going into it here, but it's interesting to think about what this data means and what the repercussions, if any, will be for the Republican Party and conservatives in the years to come. View here.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v31qxrXsxv0] This admittedly terrific video of apparently a guy's girlfriend playing hula hoop on the new Wii Fit game has garnered nearly 2 million views on YouTube alone and countless more on copycat sites.
View more pics here.
Giovanny Gutierrez, the director of interactive media at ad agency Tinsley, surreptitiously recorded his girlfriend, Lauren Bernat (who also happens to work in advertising) playing Wii Fit and then, as we all know--all 2 million plus of us--he posted it on YouTube. And despite their advertising connections, he swears up and down that this wasn't commissioned by his agency or Nintendo.
How'd she react after she found out? Guiterrez told the LA Times:
"She was FURIOUS," wrote Gutierrez, who said she "called me on the phone screaming her head off and then hung up on me."
"But now [she] finds herself actually laughing about it and enjoying her 15 minutes of fame."
It really brings to life the adage that it is better to do and ask for forgiveness later than to ask for permission first and be rejected. Wait, did I just make that up?? Either way, it's a pretty useful principle. I like the guy's quick-footed justification for all of this:
The whole thing was just an idea I had for a spec viral video.
Brilliant!
I can see him racking his brain for an excuse after his girlfriend found out about the video. His first thought was "Damn, how'd she find out? I thought I posted it as private and only sent the link to Jacko, Tommy, and Sandman."
"You fucker! How could you do this?! What were you thinking?!"
"Baby, baby. Calm down. What are you talking about?
"What am I talking about?! That fucking video of me on YouTube that you recorded. That's what I'm talking about!"
"Ohhh, that. Baby, calm down. I was just working on an, uhm, viral spec. Yea, a spec. For a potentially huge new client of ours. You know, Nintendo. You know how it is. You're in advertising. It's all about digital and viral and MyYouTubeBook this and that. I've just been under so much pressure from Mr. Tinsley to produce. "Gotta bet big to win big," he says all the time. If we get this then I, I mean, we can finally start looking at those special rings that you like to talk about so much. Just doing it for us. The team. Fuck Mr. Tinsley. I'm doing this for the team of you and me. You can't be getting so upset like this all the time. Now I'll be home in 10 minutes. What's for dinner?"
The lesson here is that:
1. Hot chick.
2. Nerdy activity.
3. YouTube
4. +1 million views
5. ?
6. Profit!
Say you jumped into a time machine which malfunctioned and dumped you in a random European city in around 1000 AD. What advice or information would be useful for survival? These are a few tips readers left that I thought would be applicable and helpful. Technically for this thought experiment I think one shouldn't be allowed to bring anything beyond what they are wearing and excluding items like lighters which as one commenter wrote would make you "friggin Merlin." As you read through, the comments and arguments start getting more and more complex and lengthier. Either way, if I was a teacher this would make for an excellent and interesting homework assignment for my classroom.
I'd start a shop that did nothing but boil water and then sell it. I'd market it as "de-spirited" water and sell it to midwives, priests, doctors - anyone who would be charged with the health of another. The boiled, micro-organism free water would dramatically improve the health outcomes for anyone with cholera or plague or infection. Even marginally better outcomes using clean water would bolster my reputation and business. Of course, barriers to entry would be pretty low in my business, but if I were widely copied, I'd start a health revolution. For that quantum timeline anyway.Wouldn't the easiest way to use future knowledge to your advantage in 1000 AD be to know well the history of the time period and use that to become a successful fortune teller? The comparative advantage that you were actually right would be huge. Presumably your timeline would diverge rapidly from ours, but you could cement your reputation early and coast for a long time on it. Then, just write what would have happened in future centuries and you will be hailed as the greatest psychic in history when at least some of it comes to pass. But remember to be vague to account for the divergence, except for things that are unlikely to be affected by human history (e.g. Little Ice Age, volcanic eruptions, Tunguska asteroid strike, etc.).
Your primary goal is to hook up with the clergy or the nobility. Everything else gets you killed or turned into a near-slave.
Don't step on any butterflies.
A lot of the comments presuppose a white person traveling back, but I wonder how they'd react if *I* suddenly landed at their muddy township.
Read more here.
Us Versus Them applies their special brand of penetrating analysis on Former New York Governor Spitzer's former escort Ashley Alexandra Dupree aka Many Vowels ("I'd like to buy a vowel, no, make that two vowels--the A and most oh-so-definitely the E.") hanging out at the beach with her mom.
Mom’s has to be running through the “mature escort” game. I mean she stays in the gym, and the gene pool is strong. I mean talk about born and bred for the streets…
Read and...uh, view more here.
I tote don't know how I missed this but Ted Danson won a long bet on whether or not the Red Sox would win the World Series before the US men's soccer team would win the World Cup. He won 2,000 bucks which was donated to his preferred charity. I do like his reasoning especially regarding the level of competition in baseball and soccer:
Besides, statistically, scoring goals is harder than hitting a home run, and in the World Cup, you have the whole WORLD against you, in baseball, but the Red Sox only really have to beat the Yankees.
Recently Warren Buffett challenged a hedge fund with a long bet claim of his own with the winner receiving $1 million dollars which will be donated to their charity of choice. Buffett argues that:
Over a ten-year period commencing on January 1, 2008, and ending on December 31, 2017, the S & P 500 will outperform a portfolio of funds of hedge funds, when performance is measured on a basis net of fees, costs and expenses.
Because he says that the costs imposed by hedge funds negates the extraordinary gains that they are supposed to provide their clients, and "investors, on average and over time, will do better with a low-cost index fund than with a group of funds of funds." Currently 77 percent of the public side with Buffett on this prediction. I'd love it if one of my more economics savvy friends could jump in here with their more cogent thoughts on this.
Read more here.
What it lacks in styling (although I think it has classic Saab-esque European lines), the Japanese Suzuki Geo Metro makes up for in its gas mileage (44 MPG!!!) and as a result it is making a faddish comeback.
Before jumping on the bandwagon, shoppers should keep in mind that older cars with tiny engines like the 55-hp Geo Metro offer dismal acceleration—take the Metro's zero to 60 mph in a leisurely 12 seconds. For many, that may seem an acceptable trade-off for mileage that rivals a gasoline-electric hybrid. Regular gas hit an average national price of $3.95 per gallon on May 29, vs. $3.20 a year ago, according to the American Automobile Assn.'s Daily Fuel Gauge Report.
However, the Geo isn't going to win any prizes in the safety department as it lacks side air bags and anti-lock brakes were optional for the Suzuki hatchback.
Read more here.
Herbert A. MillingtonChair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely, Chris L. Jensen
[Thanks Mun]
Pretty much my favorite book when I was a kid: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWIdkYk9fQM]
According to Wikipedia:
The original concept for the book featured horses instead of monsters. Sendak said he switched when he discovered that he could not draw horses.
The Wild Things (except "Goat Boy", of course) were named after (and are presumably caricatures of) Maurice's aunts and uncles.
Moron uses an example of a banana-- "the atheists' nightmare" --to prove the existence of God, because a banana perfectly conforms to the human hand, indicators that signal that it's ready to eat, and a tab (I think it's called a stem) that permit easy peeling for consumption. Ergo, GOD. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A]
Of course, there are more of God's creations that puts the fear of His religiosity into the heart and minds of atheists:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daD9pVB4YcI]
The point about bananas also being shaped like a handy gun, for self protection against the heathens, is another compelling piece of evidence. He left out another feature of the banana that is so naturally useful: It can also work as a PHONE! The banana phone gets crystal clear reception and comes with unlimited minutes for the true believers.
An amazing New York Times article: Kyle Hausmann, a 24-year-old Bed Stuy resident and paralegal found himself recently trapped at the Trophy Bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn after employees not realizing he was still there (he had imbibed more than a few) locked up for the night. One would think it would be a simple matter of making a couple phone calls, but it was a bit more complicated than that.
Calling the police seemed extreme, so instead he dialed up friends on his cellphone. But no one picked up — it was 6 a.m. Finally, a friend who was staying at his apartment in Bedford-Stuyvesant answered and tried to shake Mr. Hausmann’s roommate awake. “Kyle’s stuck somewhere; he needs your help,” the friend mumbled. But the roommate slept on and the friend fell back asleep.[...]
So he tried another round of phone calls. Finally, he reached a friend who agreed to come to the bar. The plan was for Mr. Hausmann to slip the keys under the security gate, and for the friend to open the padlock. The friend showed up, and began calling Mr. Hausmann’s cellphone and banging on the security gate. But by that time Mr. Hausmann had fallen asleep on a bench out back.
Mr. Hausmann eventually woke up and again called his friend, who agreed to come back. It was around 8:30 a.m., 12 ½ hours after his night at the bar began.
An experience like this really defines the definition of a true friendship. Which of your friends would do this for you? Maybe I should start sleeping with my phone on just in case one of my buddies becomes trapped in a bar or elevator. At the least, Hausmann owes his buddy a beer or two.
Read more here and check out the bar's own blog coverage of the incident, including a note Hausmann wrote them.
Guess who wrote the foreward to David Halberstam's seminal and definitive study of the Vietnam War, The Best and the Brightest? This exhaustive book explores the tragic and disastrous policies formulated by the "best and the brightest'' that is the social and academic elites of the country that led to and guided the US involvement and conflict in Vietnam where hundreds and hundreds of thousands of soldiers and civilians died as a direct result. John McCain wrote the foreward:
It was a shameful thing to ask men to suffer and die, to persevere through god-awful afflictions and heartache, to endure the dehumanizing experiences that are unavoidable in combat, for a cause that the country wouldn’t support over time and that our leaders so wrongly believed could be achieved at a smaller cost than our enemy was prepared to make us pay. No other national endeavor requires as much unshakable resolve as war. If the nation and the government lack that resolve, it is criminal to expect men in the field to carry it alone.
Yea, but innit weird how similar Obama's name is to Osama?
...RZA, holder of the Hip-Hop Chess Federation belt — a trophy he picked up last fall at a tournament in San Francisco that featured rappers and martial-arts experts — is turning his interest into a business. On Monday he started WuChess (wuchess.com), a Web site where fans can play chess online, chat, see scores of their games and other personal information, and get news about RZA and Wu-Tang.
Check out the video at the story to watch the reporter and RZA play a round of chess. The fist bump between the two after the game is a nice scene.
Read more here.
RELATEDLY
You can play chess (and other awesomely fun multiplayer online games for free) at MySpace Games! You just need to login to your MySpace account to play!
Time Magazine has more on the fist bump heard around the world, including a look back at the hazy history of the fist bump, which is also known as the ""power five," "fist pound," "knuckle bump," "Quarter Pounder" and "dap.""
For his part, Obama...said the fist bump reflects a marriage that keeps him grounded. "It captures what I love about my wife," he later explained to NBC's Brian Williams. "That for all the hoopla I'm her husband and sometimes we'll do silly things."
Read more here.
