Chris Cocker gushed tears in his now famous bleating defense of Britney Spears, tears which gave birth to the Internet meme du jour. Next stop? OJ Simpson! Leave OJ alone! [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=M1_NZtG_v5c]
Maybe there's something to those whispered sapphic rumors about our current Secretary of State after all? If so, what is it about the repressed tendencies of some individuals belonging to certain marginalized groups to embrace and drink the proverbial Kool-Aid of the very people actively engaged in oppressing and persecuting those groups?
Watch this clip from a recent Mets vs. Braves game: Keep your eye on the bat. It's amazin! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXIGeGhEhAs]
There is a 75,000 square feet 'mini mall' in Alabama that achieved wide fame thanks primarily to a memetic commercial featuring the rapping owner Sammy Stephens. The commercial's catchy beat and lyrics combined with Sammy's sweet dance steps exceeds anything that Madison Ave could conceive. Just watch: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk]
And here's a brilliant mash up (Behold! The power of the Internet!):
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGPVF95HoDU]
A bit of pornographic music shocks the denizens of Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. [youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=r4yndU6NqUE]
I recently discovered that I have 31,000 mileage points that are still eligible for use. I may use it to buy a one-way ticket to Lonesome Town. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVvIfoNBY3w]
I saw this poster in the window of an apartment in my neighborhood. Feel free to answer this question literally or its double entendre.
This week the mother of all street fairs is occurring in Little Italy. Everyone seems to be talking about here: the front door guard at my office building asked me if I had gone yet (we've said maybe 5 words to one another total in the past year). Whoever is handling this fair's PR is a freakin' genius because it's honestly no different than any other street fair that takes place on every other block all through out the summer. Mike Gavel, the former senator from Alaska and the enduring red lantern (1) among candidates hoping to represent Democrats in the upcoming presidential elections, recently remarked during an online forum:
"I am prepared to tell you that Americans are getting fatter and dumber. I have no problem saying that ... I've also said that the Americans are going to get the government they deserve."
Relatedly, I took the following snapshot at this street fair:
1. In keeping with Gavel's Alaskan roots, the red lantern is a literal award handed to the last dog musher who crosses the finish line at the Iditarod.
"Do they think I'm an idiots?!"
Erin sent me these two hilarious videos: 1. Is your ass too small? Or more properly, is your ass too light? This video ain't what you think it is.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=dr2sK-FPPMM]
2. When dogs attack! Pluto goes crazed at Disneyland and goes after a kid.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvlzkdxad-A]
In exchange for these two totally awesome +2 hysterical hit points YouTube videos I offered her this jive video of DJ Precocious and DJ Adorable mixing it up at the turntable:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2josUqMTUmE]
This obituary doesn't hold back! Damn.
Lord Michael Pratt, who has died aged 61, will be remembered as one of the last Wodehouseian figures to inhabit London's clubland and as a much travelled author who pined for the days of Empire; he will also be remembered as an unabashed snob and social interloper on a grand scale.
Pratt would arrive at country houses announcing that he was en route to another castle or (even larger) stately home, and was intending to stay for only one night. Quite often the "night" would turn into weeks, and sometimes months.
Although he was generous with his conversation, gossip and anecdote, many hostesses tired of Pratt's failure to make anything but the smallest contribution to the house or staff.
Michael John Henry Pratt was born on August 15 1946, the youngest son of the 5th Marquess Camden.
He was sent to Eton, having already acquired the rotund shape that would stay with him for the rest of his life.
These two guys from College Humor have been playing increasingly more and more vicious pranks on one another. The latest one is down right violent! And I love it.
After watching the most recent prank, I wrote the following memo to myself: If a friend pranks me by making my girlfriend of three years think I'm proposing to her via the Jumbotron at Yankee Stadium, resign myself to fate, get down on one knee and let her choose the date. Or get slapped in front of thousands of sulphurous Yankee fans. By choosing the former, at least I'll always have my dignity.
But then again do I really want to be with a girl who seriously thought I was proposing to her by texting to the Jumbotron? Or do girls really become that blinded at the prospect of being proposed to and toss all rationality and common sense out the window? If I go to a baseball game with a girlfriend of three years and she sees "Hey [insert girl name]. Marry me? - Mrod" on the Jumbotron, I would hope she knows me well enough to know that I would never do such a thing and assume it's a prank.
Now if she sees that same message at Madison Square Garden at a Knicks game, she better be prepared to say 'yes,' 'da,' or 'si.'
Wikipedia has a timeline of the most significant and consequential discoveries and inventions in our bipedal and opposable thumb history.
The apogee in human development of course, in my opinion occurred in the 10th millennium BC with the invention of alcoholic beverages in the Fertile Crescent. Low carb alcohol however was not invented until the 7th millennium.
I think one glaring omission from the list is the frisbee without which we would not have ultimate frisbee, the spork of sports.
...this ends up happening. Warning: Do not click on the link if you h8 clowns.
1. This photo set of a wild polar bear (okay, wild and polar bear might be redundant to say the least) frolicking with a tethered husky is so cute I just want to stick 'em in a microwave and set it to 'popcorn.' 2. Imagine the mainstream news media as the megaphone guy, that is a guy with a megaphone at a party of a sort: "Megaphone Guy might not have much to say, but he's got a megaphone and so he is heard, his utterances setting the agenda for the entire party, the party's collective intelligence (its crowd-like wisdom if you want to put it that way) determined by the intelligence of Megaphone Guy. Before long, it ruins the party because the other guests will stop being guests and become passive "reactors-to-the-Guy". Apt metaphor.
3. Beninsouthafrica found a cool video recording of a James Brown and Pavarotti duet. No, not "Endless Love" because that would have been really awkward.
4. At first it looks like the Gorilla is getting a bj, but it actually gets better! A lot better! See for yourself!
5. Hipster Olymics. I carried the torch from Union St to Atlantic Ave.
6. Did you know that famed playwright Arthur Miller had a child with Down Syndrome? Sometimes I forget that other than 80 lbs of ads for high luxury items the Vanity Fair has articles such as this.
I had a good conversation this weekend with Kzar about the unique impact of a graphic novel (although here, it's more correctly a 'comic book')--the genre that stimulates the visual as well as the text in a symbiotic manner. It can be very powerful when done right.
The rail thin (unlike the Britney Spears that appeared at this week's MTV award show...dear gawd, what was that on stage??) Vogue magazine and fashion world hausfraus and big kahuna Anna Wintour was overheard saying recently, "We're starving. We're wondering about food." Fifty minutes later, a 19 year old Estonian model was sacrificed so Anna could feed.
Ironic that the man spinning, or rather used to spin for Bush and Co. as both a Fox News "journalist" and Bush's press secretary is himself a casualty of the fucked upness of our country's current health care and retirement system:
Snow has also been a chief spokesman for the Bush administration's domestic agenda, forced to argue continually that the typical American is doing just fine, and bravely pushing the unpopular elements of Bush's vaunted "ownership society": privatizing Social Security, eliminating defined-benefit pensions in favor of 401(k)s; and replacing insurance with health savings accounts, high-deductible policies, and other consumer-driven health-care initiatives.And yet Snow's own life in many ways symbolizes the downside of the ownership society—and suggests how much a government role in health and retirement benefits is necessary.
When Snow came to the White House after several years at the Fox News Channel, it was clear that he had relied entirely on others to save for his retirement. Snow conceded: "As a matter of fact, I was even too dopey to get in on a 401(k). So there is actually no Fox pension. The only media pension I have is through AFTRA [a union]." Even though his employer provided a 401(k) and would have matched contributions, and even though he was earning hundreds of thousands of dollars, Snow had not shown either the interest or financial capability to manage his own retirement benefits.
As part of his press secretary job, Snow had to spin economic news to make it seem as if the typical American was doing well in an economy in which gains have been distributed unevenly. A report issued by the Census Bureau last month showed that median household income, at $48,201, hasn't budged since 1999. Snow admitted to feeling pinched on his salary of $168,000, which is about 3.5 times the median U.S. income. "We took out a loan when I came to the White House, and that loan is now gone," he said. "So I'm going to have to pay the bills."
I don't feel bad for this guy--I'm sure someone in his rolodex will hook him up with a sweet six-figure sinecure position. Fuck you, Snow.